Subway

Subway

A Poem by Loretta
"

Based on a painting. An assignment from an old class of mine.

"

A vast canvas stretches before me with empty curved walls.
A white silence oppresses me — filling me with its heavy ringing.
It takes me a while to become aware of the soft rumbling
of distant movement: growing louder as it approaches.

The whiteness is interrupted by a twinkling of primrose, like candlelight.
The golden glow swells, creeping up the walls of the tunneled canvas.
Abruptly a cloud of shades of crimson, everglade, cerulean, and amethyst
embraces me; it moves steadfast in swirling colors, with vibrant speed.

Gasps of industrial fragrance are the last smell I know
before the sweeping wind seizes my breath; I fight the urge to blink--
try to capture the untouchable moment; my skirt ruffles,
and my hair lifts from my shoulders and whips across my face.

Before I am certain it is coming, it is gone.
Low purrs in the distance fade to nothing but the same empty tunnel.
The stains of color under my closed eyes are its only remnants left.
But, like a handprint in the sand, time will wash them away too soon.

“Metro” (1961): Oil on Canvas
by Joan Mitchell (1926-1992)

© 2008 Loretta


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You so vividly capture the color of the painting, as well as a sense of movement and sound that breathes life into your world... Brilliant...



Posted 15 Years Ago


A wonderful poem, with superb imagery, well done.

Posted 15 Years Ago


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jen
this makes me think of a poem i wrote after driving home one night through some of the smaller towns that surround the city (on the way back from yet another indian casino:) ) ... how simply taking in your surroundings in a different way can help you discover the poetry in them, the everyday, the trips we take each day or often... this to me is my most favorite thing, having the moment revealed to you in a different way through poetry...

i love the visuals in this, seeing the walls as an ever-changing canvas...

Posted 15 Years Ago


Wow!
Beautiful imagery, deft descriptions and this line :
The whiteness is interrupted by a twinkling of primrose, like candlelight"
Truly made the whole poem for me. Twinkling of a primrose...Just something to that!!
Great work!~P

Posted 15 Years Ago



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Added on November 20, 2008

Author

Loretta
Loretta

Long Island, NY



About
I'm a young college dropout who loves her job. I work with severely disabled children at United Cerebral Palsy. I also babysit for a few families. I've been a writer all my life, and recently decided .. more..

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