Cavities

An edgy thing partly about how depression’s got its tendrils on me again and partly about dysphoria and being trans

It is one of those days where I forgot to brush my teeth so my mouth tastes like failure
I drum my fingers over my forearm whispering “you have survived all of your worst days before”
and ignore the thing that picks its way over my spine to rest in my ear and whisper “barely”
I blink for an eon and let the hazy ache in my head buzz into the background like summer cicadas
I am less of myself today, with the ghost of him from five summers ago torn away and lagging a couple steps behind
She watches with an arm stretched out and whispers “who are you? What have you done?”
I push her into the hinges of my shoulders and stare at my footsteps with blank, time-taut eyes.