The "Look"

Prejudice limits your scope of the world, it depletes and drains you. Choose to make up your own mind, discover the truth yourself. Don't pre-judge people or experiences because of fear and ignorance.

We walked into a fabric store downtown
to pick up material to make a shawl.
I had my two kids with me, chatting and
listening to them recount their day's events.
Laughing-we made our way through the store.

Walking in...I had caught sight of your expression.
I know that look.

I felt your disdain as I greeted YOU,
it oozed coldly over your demeanor as you forced a reply.
Despite that... I needed to finish my project.
We walked around to make our selection.
You wearily straighten the items in the very next isle,
Do you think I don't notice?
That we are the only ones being watched...and followed?

I know that look...
What were the stories you were told about Indians?
Who tainted your mind?

I am mindful of the customers that come in nonchalantly browsing, you approach and greet them as they shop.
I have my two children with me and wondered if they noticed.
As a young woman approached the check-out counter,
you hurry back to help her.
Smiling and talking pleasantly to her
I can hear the "smile" in your voice.

Thinking back over my 53 years...I am flooded with memories of countless times of facing that look.
Hard times of being rejected as an adult for
housing,
jobs and
daycare and painful experiences that haunted me during my childhood.

We make our selections and head to the cutting counter.
But you are no where to be found,
there are only two other customers in the store.
After several minutes of waiting I search to find you.
briskly and in complete silence you cut the yardage and hand me the cost.
As we make our way to pay, my daughter whispers what is the matter with her?

I ponder my answer to my child. What should I tell her about the "look?" that she will encounter because of her skin color. I wished that I didn't have to go into the ugliness of prejudice. It is so ugly, draining...but it is sadly a reality.

I take my fabric and sewing notions to the cashiers counter to pay. And I hand her my money, she slowly takes my $20 dollar bills and hold them up to the light then finishes up the transaction and gives me back my change.

I pause and slowly hold  the $10 bill up to the light and focus on the markings for several seconds then search her eyes as I tell her...

I want to speak to your manager!

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Fear of unknown scare people. My daughters today get followed and harass. They are of Maya and Ojibwa/Mexican blood. Their dark skin make them a target. I like the way you handle the situation. Thank you for the story. We can't accept being treated with no respect and dignity.
Coyote

[Jaweena...Eileen Quinta..]

Hahaha must of been the basketball matches we all played aaye! :)
John we have known each other since we were children...you see only the positive in me but truth is there is always the negative/weak side in all of us -we are human! You have a gift in seeing the positive in all people ....that is rare in the world we live in.

[John Jackson (El Juero)]

I am not sure you'll ever know how completely in awe of you I have always been. First of the girl, and now the complete woman you are.
Wow!

[Desert Dreamer]

I am glad you stood up for yourself, it is the only way some people are going to learn. I'm embarrassed to admit that I've heard the stories, too, for most of my life, even recently...people make a lot of assumptions given the color of my hair and think I share their prejudices and I tell them how I feel. I wish I could do more to change the stereotypes...we are all people. Great story!

[Jaweena...Eileen Quinta..]

hey Robin! I have missed you all!! Like I told Emma....prejudice is a waste of time, energy and LIFE! It stunts your growth as a human being!! I did talk with her manager......she must have been warned-she had a smile on her face the next time I seen her!! I will just have to show her what a magnificent people we are!! hahaahaa

[Robin]

most excellent ! and well done Jaweena , I hope the manager didnt suffer from the same plight of prejudice . and good that you showed your daughter to stand up to such ignorance .

[emmajoy]

BRAVO again and again To meet such ignorance with so much courage, dignity and will is incredible .. though oh! my dear Lord, how that type of behaviour must hurt. What to say other than I'm so sorry you've had to and have to to endure all that. One day, who knows, such a person might learn that we're born and we die, they're certainties, the in-between is where we learn what it is to be human.