The Worst Day of My Life

Word of loss and regret.

It was love at first sight. I didn’t think I went in for that sort of thing but there I was, with butterflies in my gut and shaky weak knees, falling in love. All it took was 60 seconds for her to infect me with here love buzz. The vibrations were palpable, getting louder and stronger as our two frequencies became one. 

I spotted her in the hallway of the high school we both went to. She was a vision of beauty. She flung her hair as if in slow motion. The light around her concentrated. It was like an angel had been delivered onto me. From that moment on I was hooked. Little did I know that our futures would entwine in the most beautiful and painful of ways. But I’ll get to that a little later. I don’t know why we didn’t get together back then but wish we did because it would’ve saved me the deepest pain I have ever felt so far in my life. Maybe a teenager I would’ve handled things better. Fast forward 18 years. The age of the internet. One day out of the blue I received a message from this selfsame girl asking if I would like to get together for a visit. Sometimes I wish I had never agreed to the meeting. For this marked the beginning of my fall. It was a long fall, a six year fall. It was so gradual that I didn’t even feel it until I hit the ground. There’s a little something that you should know about me. I fall hard. I have a deep capacity for love and when I am rejected I go to pieces. 

It all started out very innocently, two consenting adults drawn to one another through some sort of cosmic force. The girl I fell in love with back in high school wanted to see me. I can still feel her arms around me, the hot wind of her breath was as refreshing as a cool breeze on a hot Texan July afternoon. The girl of my dreams wanted me. I couldn’t believe it. She chose me but I don’t know why, other then she said I was kind. I should’ve know it was too good to be true. If I had only listened a little more closely I might’ve heard the ticking, tick, tick, tick like a time bomb, a love bomb. Either way I felt the force of the explosion on the blackest new years day in history. Well my history at least.

Staring into her ever changing camillion eyes on a balcony overlooking the metal coffins that bring us to and fro. I can still remember her smile, her eyes. I remember her body language. She was pulling me closer with invisible string, wrapping me in her web, winding tighter and tighter. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever laid eyes upon. God, just thinking about her now is so painful. I miss her so much. 

We were standing on the. Wait wait wait, I just can’t do this. It’s too painful!

Jaspar