Terra Infirma

Here you go, Ivy... a repost of my old featured which I'll feature again, what the hell. You did ask, haha. Redone Evoca track. The track down the bottom is mixed with a little ditty I was making up at the time on a nylon acoustic. Terrible quality. Yup.

[IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d20/alteredlife420/BeachSepia.jpg[/IMG]




The earth can seem too deep at times,
as boulders rush over gravel and termites
lay eggs in fields of promises; blooms

of violence cut back with rusty secateurs
under a moon-song of rivers drying up
in their featherdown beds.


We've all grown... some in the most
flagrant ways harpooned upon a beach,
some like Reznor's downward spiral

into oblivion: for that first urge making
you throw your fingers wide to write
of all the troubles in your prismatic life.


Stanzaic: there's order amongst the revival
of fallen gypsy castles, tidal-blown under
the restraints of etiquette, familiarity

and soul sacrifice; emblazing inky notions
to the sidewalks, we write our own epitaphs
for others to wander/wonder over.


And this is
just how I want it.



(Acoustic version)[img][/img][img][/img]

Author's Note

Shitty guitar, I know. I stuff around now, that's pretty much it.
Photo of a cool waterfall/open cave at a beach near where I live.
Yep, I like the whole audio-visual-written palette, I guess.

Reviews

[JP thinks the WC is apt..]

I thought I'd already reviewied this one but evidently not! This is a terrific bit of work - very organic. There's also something vaguely sci-fi about your imagery: eggs in fields, downward spirals and prismatic life. It conjurs a War of the Worlds kind of scenario, though perhaps that's just my imagination.

[Tee-o]

True and thought provoking. This piece showed your passion.
Great write!!

[Velvet Pen]

Wow J............."and soul sacrifice; emblazing inky notions
to the sidewalks, we write our own epitaphs
for others to wander/wonder over."
leaving our legacy in sidewalks..............absolutely beautiful perspective......nicely penned!!!

[Phillip Andrew Dodd]

this is the first time i've heard a spoken word, whether off- or on-line. i enjoyed it! the imagry you used caused me to think of a painting, with stroke after stroke being applied to it to form a picture.

the last two lines were great. i always love it when a poem gives some final 'stinger,' if you will, for the reader to take with him. enjoyed it. :)

i may have to try this spoken word thing sometime.. although my horrid southern accent might be too unbearable for some ;)

[Matthew Marquis]

secateurs : What on earth does this mean?

The ending is fantastic.

[kevin walls]

wow, i needed a dictionary by me while reading this and liked the album referance, overall feeling of despatity

[Kelsey E. Johnson Defat..]

A lovely flow of thoughtful words. :-)

[Blue Bard]

under a moon-song of rivers drying up
in their featherdown beds.

for that first urge making
you throw your fingers wide to write
of all the troubles in your prismatic life.

This has real movement to it. The earth to the personal in 6 stanzas flat. Yet it does work on many levels. Those I post were my favorites. This poem has a tidal feel, an ebb and flow and a bow to synchonicity, how all thought and actions are connected. This is a good dive "into the mystic."

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

This poem is wonderfully done . I really like wander/ wonder over , our own epitaphs and the referral to Reznor.. Your voice is soothing and fits with this poem .. Well, I'm not a good critquer , if there be such a word, I just say a lovely poem and I like it.

Peace

[Pamela]

I like this poem enormously and your present of the spoken word makes the written word come alive.

I did look up the word stanzaic 'cos it's new to me but I wish I hadn't been coerced into doing so because the search for meaning should be immaterial - we enjoy poems for what they mean to us and we either enjoy or not. I read stanzaic as 'pause a while'. The dictionary quotes 'standing place' among other interpretations so without knowing the word I used the word correctly for me.

[Helen Woodward]

Sorry, you didn't grab me with this...I'm not a poet and sometimes I just can't relate. You are obviously good at what you do, but I believe if people can't understand what you've written then you may just as well have said nothing!
Cheers,
Helen.