Terra Infirma

Here you go, Ivy... a repost of my old featured which I'll feature again, what the hell. You did ask, haha. Redone Evoca track. The track down the bottom is mixed with a little ditty I was making up at the time on a nylon acoustic. Terrible quality. Yup.

[IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d20/alteredlife420/BeachSepia.jpg[/IMG]




The earth can seem too deep at times,
as boulders rush over gravel and termites
lay eggs in fields of promises; blooms

of violence cut back with rusty secateurs
under a moon-song of rivers drying up
in their featherdown beds.


We've all grown... some in the most
flagrant ways harpooned upon a beach,
some like Reznor's downward spiral

into oblivion: for that first urge making
you throw your fingers wide to write
of all the troubles in your prismatic life.


Stanzaic: there's order amongst the revival
of fallen gypsy castles, tidal-blown under
the restraints of etiquette, familiarity

and soul sacrifice; emblazing inky notions
to the sidewalks, we write our own epitaphs
for others to wander/wonder over.


And this is
just how I want it.



(Acoustic version)[img][/img][img][/img]

Author's Note

Shitty guitar, I know. I stuff around now, that's pretty much it.
Photo of a cool waterfall/open cave at a beach near where I live.
Yep, I like the whole audio-visual-written palette, I guess.

Reviews

[JP thinks the WC is apt..]

I thought I'd already reviewied this one but evidently not! This is a terrific bit of work - very organic. There's also something vaguely sci-fi about your imagery: eggs in fields, downward spirals and prismatic life. It conjurs a War of the Worlds kind of scenario, though perhaps that's just my imagination.

good form (You love to use different forms, that's good), format and flow.

Good choice of words and well painted imagery.

Well imparted message.

This is a good piece

[Kristan Strietzel]

I revisit this piece 11 months after I first reviewed it, and love it still, though, I think, for different reasons. You are wise and sensitive beyond your years -- to see, more, to really understand the feeling of watching those you know and love grow up and others to lose the plot. To understand the need to dream, but stay within the realm of acceptability, but ultimately, whether others understand or care, to shout our revelations from the mountaintops!
Thank you again, after almost a year!

[Xtabber]

I'm not too expert on poetry critique (in fact, i'm an idiot), but I liked the mood you set here. Very good read as well.

[Emily B]

Just what I needed on a morning when I'm not completely thrilled to be at work. This is one of my favorites of yours. I'm glad to see it back.

[Hedra Helix]

SWEET.

[Pema Dorje]

... you hear Her beat -- a deep groan from an ancient ache -- that longing to the edge of forever -- Change is the primary motivation of Nature, roiling with incessant urges to sparkle in a new way and for a brief instant become amazed at this Beautiful moment; yet She lingers not as She is vast and pregnant with Loves many children to come.

Nature does not differentiate, She proliferates diversity in a multifarious spontaneous Joy. Distinctions like race will always become revised and experimented with by Her, with Her goal and not ours, as the longing pressure to evolve. She sees Stars!

Apparently our 2nd generation middle class unassuming star, the Sun, is recycled from the death of previous Stars before it. A 2nd chance star.

As our Sun is a second chance kind of being and we are Poets reinventing the language over and over again, then, A writer writes and never stops writing
and rewrites and writes again and again ...
and she never stops writing except to Dream,
perhaps to reach for that Star in that Star crowded Sky
and bring that Star to the end of her Pen
and write like plasma all over again ...

Who knows, and I've heard it said, that the tears of Buddha or Jesus or Muhommad and even Adam are already a part of you ... we all deserve a second chance and this they knew!

I enjoyed the imagery of your piece ...

[Emily B]

I found my way back and listened to your words in your voice. That was amazing! I love the words even more now.

[J. Hampton]

We save polite revrence and deeper digging for after the burial ?
Fascination is so powerful in what was
chaotic demise has become chic.

Loved this J

You are beyond the beyond !

Blesssssssssssssss

[aponijose]

That's it. I'm getting into this whole evoca business.

I think that what makes this piece powerful is the way you depicted your acceptance of what is. It is, to me, greatly optimistic and enlightened. But of course, acceptance by nature is almost closely related to enlightenment, right? I guess what I'm trying to say is, there is a feel of humbled once-confident omni-potence that is hard to question. It is sharp and relaxed - a feat that is quite unique coming from a wordplay of seemingly unlimited proportions.

Speaking of which, I also liked the way you showed off. When you mentioned Reznor (I'm assuming that what you're talking about is Trent since the only other Reznor I know is from the Mario game,) it came across that you have the ability to let lose, but still, you maintained the track you in as well as your composure; a choice that intelligently compliments the message of the piece.

More importantly, it shows that what you have is the result of intellectual, spiritual and emotional growth. To be able to translate that in paper without having to bluntly say it, I think, requires great skill.

[[untitled]]

A great powerhouse poem!
Maston recommended you.
My fingers are spread wide.
JKC