If ever I knew you like this / 4 days before Christmas and I need a new life

Old. Confessional. Part 1 and 2, kinda. But not really.

'If ever I knew you like this' 

You could show me all the money 
inundated with the smoke of sadness 
and I would come 
hold you 
for the moment it takes 
to feel the warmth 
of living like 
there really is 
a destination in mind 

I know it's the journey there 
I know it's meant for love 
and the laughter of trying new things 
of being unafraid to run naked 
or ride through the treetops 
like a monkey 
in the Amazon rainforests 

Too long I'd stare off 
and not say what was meant 
even if I was threatened 
with murder 
my mouth 
would be 
like a mousetrap 
closed already

I've embarked 
on the circumference 
of my own world 
discovering the vistas 
trapped in photos 
I've been wanting to share 
but haven't 
due to 
a myriad of problems 
I dared to call problems 
when really 
it was me 
working against me

Come unlock this door 
to a heaven I've been searching for
show me this paradise 
where snakes can be seen 
where swamps can be flown over 
where I 
will know the difference 
between the seven sins 

I'll knot rope 
jump it 
sing to the roads 
that beckon me 

and shiver 

for nights I've lost 

'4 days before Christmas and I need a new life' 

There's something terribly distant about your eyes 

the way they travel from my lips down my body 

to rest firmly in that space 

ill-defined 

questing for the truth 

found in pharmacy pills

you used to swallow 

so you could fall asleep 

after a 16 hour day 

playing with kids 

and working the tables at the Viaduct 

I recalled the moment you shot over me 

all tongue on fire 

and lightspeed fingers 

delving past my defences 

into my world 

of hips and thighs 

the total span of time 

making me feel used 

yet pleased 

I was somehow only a virus 

to reinfect you

Tell me that words 

will never be enough to haunt your mind 

tell me that line 6 of stanza 5 

was ambition in foreplay 

before the final act of consecration 

blazed a comet into the conflict 

between two people 

just trying to get on 

with living 

with reading 

with writing all about 

the various ways 

to cook tikka masala 

while conversing in broken Latin 

about the price of salt 

I have no idea most of the time 

if anything written 

will make sense 

but I try 

perhaps too hard 

to make it cohesive 

and tangible

Perhaps I need 

that kick up the arse

we all crave 

when in a masochistic mood 

when in a state of denial 

most would deny

Reviews

[Tai Chi Italy Take Two]

As to your title J! You and me both, my friend! I need a new life like yesterday!lol Great read, I loved every line of every stanza...the final stanza makes me sit up and smile...Arse? Not A*s then? Mine needs a stroke...

of luck.

It sounds like you are in need of a good woman with a great kick! If there is one thing I CAN do, it's kick, so if you are in my neck of the woods, feel free to pop by.

Winking at you

Tai

[Hedra Helix]

Aww Jason, this is f*****g beautiful

"You could show me all the money
inundated with the smoke of sadness
and I would come
hold you
for the moment it takes
to feel the warmth
of living like
there really is
a destination in mind"

[Emily B]

you are one of my favorite poets, you are incredible