luna and sol

...just a weekend out surfing in Raglan, yet again.

 

mary jane and merlot out on the deck and i
as usual, giggling, pointing and thinking it's all so
silly. traffic never belonged here, two hours south, maybe
another half hour to drive. warm still. listening to each other's
voices. and the air conditioner which i never mentioned
irritates me as much as loose hairs
straggled all over
my face.

where is now and silence, where is this incense and shadow
you speak of calling you to the water, bursting your ventricles
with so much joy? i listen, i burrow under and try to recall:
ah, there is deliverance here, here where i'll always be warm
and looked after. here, where sparrows are tiny guests
to feed with soggy bits of bread. a starling hovers
with wings too easy to split in two, crushed
between thumbs and the smoky plumes  
of a city far away: music calls, it is
so silent here. i cradle my
guitar, sing a winter song
when i shouldn't

bless this night
with earthen
fingers.

fingers to wrap around each story.
moments to cloud this deck with song. 
 

Reviews

[Moonflower]

This is elegant, it has a smooth and homey feel, I love the way the story played out in my mind, it was like a childhood memory of the country side where I grew up. This is real and vivid. I love what you have achieved here, absolutely enchanting. *favorites*

[MagiCrystal]

Enticing... very ... fabuloso.. y excitante...todo un poema.. y que voz ... aw.... adorable... I can go forever..and ever.

[ljc]

Stepping away so that you are able to observe and think, your poem does this as an invitation to the reader to do the same. Enjoyed the poetry reading audio also.

[Nichole R. J. H]

Wow. What an ending. And what a beginning. This piece is amazing. Your writing style is fresh, but the style is so unique and very structured.

[Aaron Stewart]

I love how you don't use capitalization... gives your poetry a sense of originality. The lines are immensely poignant and heartfelt. I love the structure of the poem--how it dwindles down to nearly nothing by the end of the stanzas. Overall, I don't really have much criticism... you seem to be an excellent poet.

[Lori]

This is qutie lovely. What I notice immediately is this sense of wanting to break free. There's a partial escape while strumming on the guitar and amidst the peace and quiet, but it's a moment and we feel the trappings that will bring you back to civilization. I've felt that, too.

[Emily B]

I was sure that when I came back to it I would know exactly what to say . . .

maybe next time the perfect words will come.

[AG]

very cool and refreshing. i love how i feel as though i was actually with you when everything in the poem happened.

you have a way of pulling the reader to your lovely universe!

excellent job!