fragile notions

a reminder of all 
   that is real, i profess 
     to know nothing of this eternal view

     outside with you, it is only you 
     i find comfort in

     in becoming, this whispered flowing freedom 
   beyond the mundane and sorry shadows 
of my invisible earthly diary 


of promises forgotten or forgiven, thrown to the skeleton of the wind
across our lips, the orange hosannas and hallelujahs of skin to skin 

and of this breathing that is touch, of this confusion that is chaos 
in this weave and tautness of living and dying within

Reviews

[Emily B]

i can't tell the difference between internal and external storms today, thinking of crawling in bed til the winds stop howling

maybe, i'll just hold on to words like these, maybe when the winds stop blowing i'll find myself in oz like that kansas girl

[Brook]

This is...wonderful. Just wonderful.

[Clockwork]

I really enjoyed the tone you enjoyed the imagery and feeling of your third and fourth stanzas. They are very tender and full of affection for your beloved. This poem speaks of a deep and abiding love, one that does not waver, and forgives much, yet endures. One of my favorite lines of this piece is the 9th line. I love the idea of the winds skeleton, but also of the promises. That line hints at the history between the lovers, and shows how it has grown. These are the kind of words one holds onto to brighten the darkest days.

[Rene Velez]

absolutely beautiful piece of writing.

[p.kuhl]

This is woven well, nice assonance and essence. I love the fragile nature throughout, and the end is so lovely. Very romantic and dark and delicate. Cool combination =)

[Emily B]

these are good words to come back to when the winds stop blowing

[emmajoy]

There are times and places past-present with someone where absolutely nothing else matters - because it seems that there's nothing outside the two of you. Your words are quite beautiful and express how..

[h d e rushin]

nowing absolutely nothing of the boiling point of dreams, I concur with this vision of fragility.
my erstwhile girlfriend told me that I was too weak, that poetry was akin to emasculation. that
if the soul shows up on a man it is only because his vigor is being attacked. But the only way for
the soul to show up is for the person to flesh it out, to dig it from the mundane. hence, I have
concluded that being fragile is not to be deprived of virility but to face the ledge, the notions of
living and dying (good living and good dying) with the brave resolve of hallelujahs and hosannas,

but naked.

tremendous work sir.
dana

[Marie Anzalone]

there is great power in vulnerability, dana. sorry to say, your gf is wrong about you. there is nothing more virile and life-affirming than kundalini power, and poetry taps that better than just about anything.

[Ken Simm.]

'the orange hosannas and hallelujahs of skin to skin' is such a wonderful line but then this is full of those. It is at once a paen of praise, a testament of memory and a wonderment of relationship. This is a remarkable write.

[TL Boehm]

this whispered flowing freedom
beyond the mundane and sorry shadows
of my invisible earthly diary


of promises forgotten or forgiven, thrown to the skeleton of the wind
across our lips, the orange hosannas and hallelujahs of skin to skin

WOW! the notions may be fragile in your poet mind but on paper they live and breathe with a strength that is palpable. Such beautiful poetry.