Intro (Prologue)

This is the introduction to the book I am writing: Mightier Still / The Abyss. This chapter is about Jason Morris looking back and introducing us to his life, his kidnapping, his hell.

He is called "Ianto". He takes two kids wherever he goes. Eventually, they are found. Every single one died. Except one. My name is Jason Morris. I lived. I passed the test. I pulled trigger. I killed the other boy. I survived. I was eleven. 

In the silence, I can still hear the shot ringing in my ears. The vibrations are there, in my fingers as if I'm still aiming the gun, still pulling the trigger, still afraid, still empty, still guilty. That's my curse, my reminders. I'm alive; I survived, but at what terrible cost? Looking back, I wish I had just let it all end. My sanity. My pain. My captivity. My life. 

What would have happened if I handn't have pulled the trigger? Would the boy be in my place now? Would we both be dead like the six before us? Would it all have ended? Would I truly be free? It's too late now. I want to die. I've been to hell and back again. 

The shot didn't just kill him. It did damage to me. It created a tear. A tear through the fabric of my mind, a tear that split me in two, a tear that ripped my personalites apart. Like most everybody, I had a few personalites before I was taken: Who I was around my friends, who I was when I was alone, and who I was when I wasn't strong enough. I guess that's what, or rather who, Morse is. He was that masquerade I put on to be strong, to survive. 

The shot alone ripped him out of my subconscious, but the more I detatched, the more I wanted to vanish, for someone else to bear my pain, the stronger he got. Every ounce of strength he gained, I gave it to him. I gave him the reigns. For eight years, he controlled our body. For eight years he did what he needed to survive as I sat back in the recesses of consiousness and watched him, watched "me" do things I never would have done. I watched things happen like a scene of a play, a clip of a movie. 

By the time I screamed for him to stop, by the time I had learned to love the dark, I had no grip left. This cruel, brutal, heartless sociopath who called himself by my first name and had my appearance had all the cards. I came close to surfacing and freeing myself from my mental prison a couple of times, but each time he overcame me. For eight years, I lived under "Ianto" and my own captor whom I created, Jason Morse. Eight years in captivity. Eight years in hell. 

 Be careful while personalities you oblige. Eventually, the personalities clash. Eventually a superior personality surfaces and takes hold. Who established it, you? Which you? Some personalities are stronger than others, and some need to be. But spending too much time in an inorganic personality does damage. It leaves a tear. 

A tear through your mind.

A tear through your heart.

Author's Note

Please tell me which title sounds better: Migntier Still or the Abyss. Each comes from a quote.
"He who controls others is strong, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still."
"When you look long into the abyss, the abyss looks into you."

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