One Final Time

How It Ends.

                (Just)

Go outside and cherish the night 

 Look up at the stars above.

 

            (Pick One)

 Pull it from the darkness and write 

  After dusting it off put your name. 

 

              (In It)

 Remember this precious moment 

  Look close and you will see your tears. 

           (And Shine)

 Now place it back and give hope

  That someone remembers you. 

            (Forever)

 For this one final time I know now

  That I have a beautiful star to look at.

 

Reviews

[TamiViolet]

Wow. This is one of the most imaginative pieces I've read in a while.... Metaphor/images just gorgeous. And I love the night and its tenderness! :-) First line has so much impact...Also, love the tear bit. Conclusion beautiful as well and image 'spot on' though it's powerful without it. An instant favorite. Read it and came on just so I could congratulate you on this one.

[Gabriele]

I prefer the night sky over the day, great Poem

[Jason Shadows]

In it's beauty there is always a place you can drift off to and be immortalized amongst the stars. :)

[Wild Rose]

Aw so nice
My name on a star
Will we be able to read from afar?

[Jason Shadows]

Only if those live in the cosmos my dear.

[Wild Rose]

Oh!
Then I must join you

[Jason Shadows]

All is welcome to the cosmos and beyond. :)

[Emerald Seas]

Simply beautiful.

[Bertie]

A short and incredibly astute piece of work...I've always been frightened to write about stars and the universe, memory, insignificance, legacy etc because I always feel like it's biting off more than I can chew but you've really achieved something special here; it's a thought-provoking piece with well crafted images...And you pitched the emotional journey perfectly..I really have no negatives ! What a fantastic read ! Thank you and well done :)

[Beautiful Disaster_33]

" in it, shine, forever"

Well written piece, but the above stands out to me.
Great write, friend.

[Chris]

I liked the aftertaste of this one...

[Poetic Beauty]

I love to look at the stars at night and it makes me think of my grandma. Sometimes I will talk to her while I am sitting outside at night looking at the stores.

[Whiskurz]

Very well penned indeed.....Whisk

[eglantine]

I'm on the fence on the flow of this piece--i both like it and don't... either way it's good. For some reason, each stanza reminds me of some mimic of writing on a tombstone, which doesn't really make much sense, but ya. Also, I like the idea of seeing your own tears. Only suggestion: personally, I wouldn't have capitalized each word... it leaves nothing to support the importance of the more unique, descriptive words.

MiRaCleS!

:O)