Broken

Once Again.

"I Could Have Just Walked Away.

 But I Slipped On Some Hope.

 Abandon The Greed Inflaming My Heart.

 Pushing Through The Dark.

 I Said I Missed You.

 But You Just Smiled.

 Not Knowing What Was Really.

 Going On In Your Broken Heart.

 To Many Faults In The Fire.

 I Put It Out Just To Walk Out.

 For Awhile I Would Sit Alone.

 Outside To Calm Down.

 The Fight Was More In Meaning.

 It Was Love In Emotions.

 That Needs To Be Replaced.

 By With You In My Arms.

 I Just Need You Here.

 We Are Like A Frozen Lake.

 Stuck Together Forever.

 But We Need Something New.

 A New Start To Erase The Bad.

 To Replace It With The Good.

 Refresh The Mood With Forgiveness.

 Seek More Intentions That Mean Something.

 Nothing More Than A Wish.

 Just To Have You Once More.

 Here Right Here With Me.

 But You Know Within This Lonely Soul.

 I'm Still Broken."

Reviews

[Rory CJ Frankson]

Write On / Right On! Romon in Review . great peace
********************************The love I need ********************* believed ***************
First lets address the machanics, as this piece is really about a Dance. The footwork to the heart, as it holds a positive measure in Cadence. It reads very well, the rythme matches your premise (very cool). The rhyme is short, and not missing. The rhyme is in word choice and knowing it or not, simple consanants and smooth vowels. Enough so, it begins a rhyme in emotions. Good job!

Only one error to point out... in an awesome line.
To[o] Many Faults In The Fire.
( correct an I'll be back to erase this pointer )

I think the use of the quotation at the first line and finishing the last, is a unique emphises in the framing of a Classical Stanza. It regards this as very personal in address, not for the reader to feel for a relationship pined over. Rather an address, that you have invited them to view a conversation held.

Seriously pleading, for a matching heart.

There is some very good phrasing in this work Jason and your word choice is really superlative really. There is great ebb and flow, that match your chosen context. I believe this a thought out piece, to match the desire you express in this heart felt measure to keep close and valuable engagements. It holds
a deep maturity, not to impress but to reveal... to this precious soul.
A Poetic resolve, in a romantic realism of acceptance. The hope,
for that illusive premise. A Twin Flame, that maybe someone.
That could last and be eternally... shared. Slipping away.
***********************************************************************All Stars**********************

[Kate Hunter]

very well written. I like your style of writing.
You are a very talented writer.
How about a new challenge that's kind of something I have issues with:
now, try to write a happy, inspiring poem.

[Caitlynxoxo]

"A New Start To Erase The Bad.
To Replace It With The Good."

I really liked this; the description was beautiful, though the poem was sad :( Anyways, thanks for sharing- it was amazing.

xoxo Caitlyn xoxo