OC-Me

A personal poem about my mental health.

Going to bed whenever I can,
No motive, no reason not even a plan.
Life I take it as it comes and goes.
But what is really inside my head, nobody knows.

Sleep is no issue, I do it the most.
Although Always tired what is my diagnose?
Sometimes I wake too afraid to go outside,
Anxieties of people, myself and I hide.

I struggle with thoughts bombarding my mind,
Strange thoughts about harming and some I've left behind.
One thought comes along and repeats all the time
Until replaced with a thought that's more grime.

At at time I was afraid to handle knifes,
Scared incase I would harm innocent life's.
I tried to harm myself so the thought went astray.
Although it just came back the very next day.

I'm fighting a war with my own head
"What are your thoughts?" The question I dread.
Trying to convince myself I'm not crazy
And trying to explain that I'm not "just lazy".

I'm battling intrusive thoughts day by day.
Hoping it wont always be this way.
Hearts beating fast, chest is closing in,
The feeling of panic just seems built-in.

So next time you hear my name,
Understand I'm not insane.
I'm just an average human being
Fighting the unseen.

Author's Note

Ignore grammar issues

Reviews

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

this is so good
i wrote a poem called oblivion about anxiety depression etc
i hope you are getting help or counselling
i have had it myself also and a family member one of my children.
i pray you will soon recover and find peace in yourself xx

[Agogobran]

Wow. Very strong. I too have an illness and I'm glad to see you're not afraid.

[Serendipity Planet]

Brave and powerful words to describe what so many face and afraid to say , you are a fighter , you will make it

[AnxietyWithAttitudex]

Thank you so much for your kind words