How I Met Your Sister

One day Lily brings an interesting sister to the bar.. HIMYM/Buffy Crossover an NC-17 interpretation of How I Met Your Mother with a Buffy The Vampire Slayer twist.

Lily couldn't resist the smirk on her face as her and Marshall watched Barney and Ted. They had no idea that today they were going to be the most jealous people ever. Lily never talked about her sister but seeing them fall all over themselves to talk to Willow was going to be priceless. 

"I just got the text." Lily muttered and Marshall could hear her eagerness. Willow Rosenberg had just recently lost her girlfriend and had talked extensively to Lily about testing the waters with men again. This brought an interesting bet about between Marshall and Lily. Which guy would she be attracted to, if either. 

"So, I have a surprise guest." Lily smiled but neither guy looked up from their play french fry sword fight. Marshall had put his money on Ted. He was the good guy. Lily knew it'd be Barney--the man who charmed the pants off any girl. "I SAID." Lily spoke louder and that caught the boys' attention. "I have a special guest." 

"Ohhhhkay." Ted waited for her to elaborate but she only stared behind them. He and Barney turned around at once and Marshall reveled in the look on the guys' faces.

"Holy mother of--"

"Lil. You have another doppleganger. ARE YOU PREGNANT?" Barney yelled out and Lily rolled her eyes. 

"No, that's my twin. WILLOW!" Lily waved the parallel Lily over. 

"Lily and Willow. Who were you parents--Lennon and Yoko?" Barney joked and Lily rolled her eyes. 

"Hey. Sorry I'm late. Buffy insisted on talking to me the whole ride over. She's nervous about cab rides." Willow shrugged an apologetic shoulder at her twin. 

"Who's Buffy?" Ted wondered out loud.

"Buffy is my sister's magic friend."

"She's the Slayer." Willow corrected. 

"Like the band?"

"Like the vam--" Lily put her hand over her sister's mouth. She wasn't about to ruin her only chance for Lily and Marshall's entertainment based off her silly scary stories. 

"Well, Lily--Willow..." Barney corrected himself. "What brings you into our neck of the woods?"

"I..Uh..." Willow looked down. "I'm just kinda sight seeing. I've never been to New York, so now would be as good as a time as any to be all honkey dorey about visiting and such."

Barney couldn't resist laughing at her choice of words but Ted was invested. Lily's twin sister was very much like Lily but also very different. 

"Why now?"

"My--girlfriend died." She looked down and both Ted and Barney nearly leapt into motion. 

Ted. Barney telepathically spoke to Ted. 

Yeah?

Lily's twin sister Willow is a LESBIAN! 

I know.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

HEY, you two. Lily jumped in and they both looked up in surprise. 

Sorry, Lil. They both replied silently and she focused her attention back on her sister. 

"So I decided to quit the books for a while and come visit."

"How do you like it so far?"

"Eh."

"SO." Marshall finally spoke out loud for the first time since Willow sat down. "Ted here is an architect. He builds buildings and.. also... draws them." Marshall looked down awkwardly realizing he'd screwed up the only introduction he'd get to really woo this girl on behalf of Ted. 

"Buildings. That's really interesting." Willow chuckled. "Nice to meet you Ted. How's being an architect going for you?" 

"It's--tiring. What do you do?"

"Magic." Willow blurted out and then shot an apologetic look for her sister. She missed Sunnydale where she could be herself. 

"Magic is my favorite." Barney opened his hands. "What can you do?"

"Mostly spells, potions, a little levitation. I haven't done much since Tara passed away though." She looked down. "What about you?" She forced herself to think lighter.

"Oh well my most talented trick is making women's panties disappear." He winked and Willow scoffed.

"BARNEY!" Lily scoffed. "Normally, your pick up lines are..."

"Better." Marshall filled in.

"Well, I'm sorry Lil. This is your twin. I can't waste my pick up lines on women I can't have. I'd much rather use the good stuff for things like--" He paused as a woman walked past him. "Hey!" He stood up and Willow watched as he walked away. 

"Sorry. Barney isn't normally uh..." Ted slowed down. "Actually, he is. he's always like this. He's extraterrestrial."

"Like a demon?" Willow frowned. 

"Like an obnoxious heat seeking missile." Lily rolled her eyes. Marshall nudged her and she knew the signal. "Well, it's getting late. We should go grab Marvin from the sitter. Will, whenever you want to come home--the guest room is made."

"Thanks. I think I gonna hang here for a bit." She smiled. 

"Phase one. Complete." Lily hissed to Marshall. "She's clearly going to end up with Barney."

"After that obnoxiously hideous pick up line? Ted is going to end up turning her whole life around."

"Right because he builds things."

"Yes. Builds lesbian lovers up to bisexual beasts."

"You're not getting laid tonight."

"Yeah I figured." Marshall held the door open for her and looked back once more at the twin sister seated at the booth next to Ted. Go get her Ted.