You're The Hardest Thing I've Ever Seen...

This story takes place on the outskirts of Detroit. A young girl meets a mysterious client in the bar. And the story unfolds...

Prologue | Bring The Love Baby, I Can Bring The Shame.. | The Weeknd

            The look in his eyes as I approached him was one that unlike anyone I’d ever seen. Tonight is my last night. Then, I’m done. Never again will I ever have to endure such shame and degradation. I smile as best I can as he watches me, the hunger in his expression deepening my anxiety. I don’t want to be here, I just want to be home.

            “What’s your name?” He says, his voice slickly invading my eardrums. As if he really wanted to know. He wasn’t concerned with my name, my life, me… no one ever was. I laugh and give him a fake name as he rubs his hand against my lower back. He begins to talk, small conversation… I can tell this is his first time.

            “What’s yours?” I come out of my daze and I turn to him, watching his mouth. I never look into their eyes. When you see someone’s eyes, you can see into their soul, their pain, their anger.

            “You can call me Yela.” He whispers into my ear, his southern drawl causing my heart to thud slowly. I don’t want to know why I’m supposed to call him that. He rubs my lower back, and although I’ve been through this several times in the past, a jolt runs through me.

            “So what do you want?” I lift an eyebrow. I refuse to call him Yela. I speak extremely proper so, it’d come out Yeller, and that’s just weird. He smiles at me as he twirls his straw. I can tell he’s no older than about 19. He pulls his hair back slowly and smiles at me again.

            “I don’t know.” He says and I sigh.

            “Look, I don’t have time for this.” I say and he chuckles as I shake my head sighing.

            “I’m sorry.” He says and I can’t tell whether the apology is sincere or not. “I was just playing. Come on girl.” He says as he takes my hand. I sigh. Normally, I’d start yelling about money now, but I’m watching his hair sway back and forth as we walk. Hair is so hypnotizing. The black mane blows to the right as he turns, checking the bar quickly before sliding into the bathroom.

            He pulls me into a stall, and I sigh. This is all so familiar. He looks at me, smiling as he sits back on the toilet seat. He pulls me by my hips and outlines my dress with his eyes. I stare at the ceiling. I hate this part. The part where they stare at me like they’ve never seen a woman before, like I’m the first woman they’ve ever put their hands on.

            He rises to his feet and kisses my neck gently. “What’s that you got on?” He whispers in my ear and I continue to stare at the ceiling.

            “Strawberry Kiwi.” Maybe he’ll buy his wife a bottle for her next birthday. A gorgeous being like him, bound to be married. It’s surprising what falls into my line of work. I grab the hem of the bottom of his shirt, but he grabs my hand sharply. I look at him, or through him rather and he smiles. The smile is different than any gesture he’d done before.

            “I just wanna look at you.” He says and my eyes meet his for the first time. His eyes search mine as if they were reaching into my being and I force myself to look elsewhere. “You don’t even wanna look at me.” He slams his fist against the wall. I gulp. Every now and then I get a customer who blames themselves for what’s happening. Which is right, because who else was he going to blame?

            “Hey.” I whisper grabbing his shoulders. They were, intensively flexed and I was almost positive that he wasn’t doing it on purpose. It was attractive, especially through the black thermal shirt he was wearing. He turns slowly, not facing me but looking in my general direction. I can’t think of anything to say so I kiss him slowly.

            He turns around and slides his palm against my cheek as he kisses me back, pushing me backwards, grabbing my neck roughly. He looks into my eyes as our noses brush and he stares at me for a second, sliding his knuckles against my cheek. I watch him as he slowly leans over to kiss my neck again, watching me. I anticipate him to move further but he just looks at me.

            “What?” I whisper.

            “I just… Aint nobody ever just let me look at them like this.” He says as he grabs my hips and sways them to the music sounding further off beyond the bathroom doors and into the club. He slowly dances with me and I watch him. This is some twisted stuff. I’m used to just having to close my eyes and bear through the worst. Yet, this guy was just.. just as lost as me.

            He leans over and kisses me again and I run my fingers through his gorgeous locks. We continue to sway to the beat and he lays his nose on my shoulder before pushing his cheek against it. I hold my fingers to his back. As for a last night, this is something… Just being able to dance with someone.

            He threads his fingers in my hair as he looks at me. “You’re the hardest thing I’ve ever seen.” He says in a low voice, his eyes looking into mine as his lips barely touch mine as he talks. Instead of closing my eyes, I stare into his, as we continue to dance. His hands don’t move, he just holds me tightly.

            I trace my hands against his shirt, feeling his arms as I lay my head against his chest. Something drew me to him. Something made me want to cling to him, and beg him not to let go. I know I couldn’t, but… It was pretend. Just like every customer I’d ever had. Wanting intimacy, pretending it was real. I felt his heartbeat as he places his hand on the stall wall and continues to sway with me.

            I don’t know how much time had passed before he released me. Normally, when that time ends, a guy would pull up his pants, and throw the money at me and leave. He releases me slowly looking at me as my hands fall from his arms.

            “Thank you.” He says as he hands me the money. $500. I feel like I just cheated him.

            “Technically, you shouldn’t be paying full price. I didn’t do anything.” I say softly and he laughs.

            “You did a lot more than I wanted.” He says and timidly nods at me before leaving the stall. I watch after him, sinking to my knees. I felt alone, empty now that I was out of his arms. I’d never ever felt that way. Except when I was with… Well, let’s just say I never felt that way. I walk to the bar, and smile thankfully to the bartender. I drop him a $10 tip.

            “Thanks Jas.” He smiles to me and I nod as I step out of the club, clutching my purse as I stand in the rain. Cars come and go past me as I await a taxi. It pulls up and I smile thankfully. “3^rd please.” I say and the taxi driver nods. I stare out into the darkness as we drive down the road.

            “Thank you.” I say when arrive, and I step out. I open the door, and come in slowly. Closing  the door as softly as I can, I smile when I see Marshall laying on the couch with Hailie in his arms. They’re both smiling softly in their sleep. God I loved my best friend the most when he was sleeping.

            “Where have you been?” I turn slowly, when I see my mom seated in a chair in front of me.

            “I was out.” I shake my coat off my shoulders. “Don’t start yelling and s**t, ma. The baby’s asleep.”

            “It’s not your baby.” She rolls her eyes, taking a sip of the bottle in front of her.

            “It’s not your house anymore, ma. So don’t start acting like you make any rules.” I say. See, my mom had almost lost my childhood home and if it wasn’t for the way I made ends meet, it would’ve been gone. When I started paying the mortgage, I invited my best friend Marshall to move in. I don’t know who it was helping more, him or me. Him because his girlfriend had left town leaving him and his baby homeless. Me, because if I had to continuously live with my mother alone, I would probably have killed her by now.

            “I just don’t see why you have to continuously walk up out this house dressed like that.” She complains and I sigh as I start up the wooden stairs.

“Give it a rest ma.” I call out. I lay my head back on the pillow and close my eyes. The sweet sound of Elvis Prestley singing “Love Me Tender” pushes me into a soft slumber,.