The girl's cry

it's basically on the wrong deeds that are done on girls in every corner of this world.

What mattered me the most?
Was that my land in which I lost?
I was helpless in every post,
I become nothing but roasted toast.

I cried for my plead,
I suffered, I bleed,
Sometimes I lost courage, that lead,
What happened to me I was pure seed.

Sometimes fear tortured me,
Sometimes you tortured me,
Who said I was free?
For what I paid such fee?

I did what I was taught,
Fight till the end, still lost the fought,
What was that paper, that wrote?
That brings my life full of drought.

Every moment scares me a lot,
What was that web, in which I was caught?
I cried for each penny, for what I was bought,
Why I was sailing in that boat?

My eyes are now shattering down,
Why was only 'he' to be always crowned,
I was counting my wishes in my lawn,
Which were never found.
When that floral carpet will bloom for me,
When will I be given opportunities like endless sea,
I think, I thought, seeing the life full tree,
May next time I wont pay that fee........

Reviews

[Ashish]

Words perfectly arranged with synchronization...and I like that.
Jasbir, you had described the Feeling of a girl perfectly..
"Still lost the fought"
I think it should be fight, but I may be wrong..
Otherwise u can write it
"Still miss the shot"

Keep writing :)

[Jasbir Kaur]

Ok i will try to write better.

[Deepak Belbase]

a well crafted poem resemble to a truth of human nature... i will call it the human tragedy... because it is reminds me of the tragedy obtained from the expectations and hopes....

[Valentine]

For starting out in a different language you are beginning well. Read a lot of others writes and see how they phrase things that will help you grow. Valentine

[Jasbir Kaur]

Ok thanks i will surely do what you said.

[tanmay7551]

Outcry of girls well depicted with rhymes on the song. Well written and for sure describes current affairs.

[Jasbir Kaur]

Thank you so much .
Yes i wrote it considering now a day's situation.

[Arvad Lazar]

very beautiful...liked it.

[Jasbir Kaur]

Thank you so much

[Alfred Kukitz]

Questions expand into self, the myriad anomalies of life told through the eyes of the receiver.

You are a writer Jasbir!

Regards,
Al

[Jasbir Kaur]

Thank you so much