Red Window

Read and Enjoy

Red Window

Red Window, Red Window open up your pane.

To let out the pain, of a girl once slain.

Red Window, Red Window bring in the light.

How do you bring light from this frostbitten night.

Red Window, Red Window who saw the father.

Of the girl once slaughtered, and blood gone cold.

Red Window, Red Window bring back the life.

Of a loving wife, and a caring daughter.

Red Window, Red Window who saw the man.

Knife in his hand, slowly going up the stairs.

Red Window, Red Window who saw the blood.

Body dragged through the mud, on flower buds.

Red Window, Red Window where did they go?

Red Window, Red Window

Reviews

[Ru Banerjee]

So effortlessly and wonderfully crafted lines, sounding like a sweet refrain on the surface, but unfolding the deepest, darkest and crudest truths of a tragedy that has been witnessed. The lines are so powerful, intense and sketch an untold mystery so well! The imagery of the red window is executed so aptly and yet retains the lyrical element of the piece fully.

[Ice QueenJen]

This was a very interesting poem, nothing like I thought it would be. But it did have a kind of nice flow throughout, and almost like a song.

[Mimi]

I thought this poem was a very descriptive and intricate piece you had here my dear Jarin. I love the way the image of the story unfolds before the reader's eye. I didn't find much wrong with this poem, but I just thoguht some of the lines interupted the flow of the rhyme. I'm not saying you ahave to, but I think you should change the lines into this:

"Red Window

Red Window, Red Window open up your pane.
To let out the pain, of a girl once slain.
Red Window, Red Window bring in the light.
How do you bring light from this frostbitten night.
Red Window, Red Window who saw the father.
Of the girl whose blood had gone cold from here slaughter.
Red Window, Red Window bring back the life.
Of a caring daughter, and a loving wife.
Red Window, Red Window who saw the man.
Slowly going up the stairs with a knife in his hand.
Red Window, Red Window who saw the blood.
Body dragged through blooming flowers and mud.
Red Window, Red Window
Oh, where did they go?"

Other than those few mishaps I thought this was a very beautiful poem you had here. Great job, and never give up on your wonderful writing skills,
~Mimi

[Domo]

I can honestly say that was the best poem I have ever read of yours J.R. Good job, definitely 100/100.

[Katie]

love, love, love the repitition of 'red window'- gives the poem a deep and creative outlook. great job.

[Jason Knight]

Your story captures repetition and makes a new word out of its every mention. This deep red has seen it all. It knows it all, but it possesses no means of doing anything in contradiction to its existence, for it is only a means of seeing and not acting. Red window, who are you now? Red window you are, yet I do not know how. Red window, watch me destroy you, right before the night takes a bow... This is pretty good, J.R.

[RiNNA<3]

wow. neat. i liked how you told the story through the "red window"

[Annabray]

Good job. =)

[Allison]

This is SUPREMELY AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!! I love how the red window has seen it all, and how this story is full of darkness.

[Flo]

I actually enjoyed the poem,with it's repetition and flow, it made its light, yet somehow the darkness is oozing out of it.
Lovely write.
-Flo