I'm Proud Of What I Did

Enjoy :)

I’m proud of what I did

that’s what I said

that’s what I am

I’m proud

 

Crazy Man

Bitter Man

Digesting Man

They called me

 

But, in gods eyes

I did well

I wont go to hell

For what I did

 

Live is love

But love is inanimate

Then, what makes life?

Inanimate.

 

God loves me!

I screamed

As they hung the

Crazy Man

 

I watch in the audience

I watch myself drop

And burned

By righteous hands

 

But, little do they know

I will sill be there

Not in body

But by soul.

Reviews

[WriterSki7]

Well written. A little opaque, but it appears it's supposed to be that way.

On the topic of the crime:
Laws are a result of Morals agreed upon by a society
Morals are the result of one's perspective of right and wrong

So, did he necessarily have to commit any crime to be hung like a criminal?

[Sagela]

It seems to me that you are looking at a survivor who is technically insane, but thinks he did the right thing and was hanged. Maybe in the old days? I don't know. It reminded me of the Green Mile. I can somewhat relate to your poem in a way, not that I murdered anybody. Good job on this poem. I really enjoyed it.

[gravitylava]

I wonder what was the crime? Not that it takes much of a crime these days for such results. I love this poem. It's great!

[Katie]

"But, in gods eyes

I did well

I wont go to hell

For what I did.."


What did he do?!! I love the mystery, really well written.

[ebur™]

well done poem, but it left me hanging, but in a good way. it was mysterious to me for the fact that I didn't know what he could have possible done, just like (Super) Heroes Never Die mentioned in her review. But maybe that's supposed to add to the effect of its 'mystery' and if so, that was well done. My favorite stanza would have to be the last because it intrigues me about him watching in the audience and gives me more to think about. great job with this poem! :)

[Erica Nottestad]

To be perfectly honest, this poem just doesn't feel "finished" to me. There are a couple hiccup areas that kind of threw me off balance.

"Live is love
But love is inanimate
Then, what makes life?
Inanimate."

Not only does this sound a little philosophical for what I think the mood of the poem allows, it just doesn't flow as nicely as I think it truly could. What does it mean? I can't manage to draw any sort of meaning from it. What does "Live is love" mean, exactly? The grammar structure of the last two lines of this stanza also throws me off. Why is there punctuation there, but at no other place in the poem except for where the narrator is narrating directly what he told the spectators?

I think there is a great amount of potential in this work, but it hasn't quite been fully tapped yet. The subject matter is really intriguing, and I can't wait to read what you are able to make from it. :)

[:)]

I think after the fourth stanza you should incorporate something about what exactly the man did. You carry us through enough wonder, but at some point its time to ani up.. By doing that your ending will be much more effective. You have a lot of potential. Keep Writing :)
and you have a typo you meant still in the last stanza not sill

whoop whoop :)

[A]

I loved this! How no matter what other people thought of you...you seemed to defend your beliefs or actions. I love the flow of this piece too...very well done! Great poem! :)

[(Super) Heroes Never Di..]

I liked it. Morbid, no doubt. But I'm also confused. What did he do to get hung? What could an old man possibly do to deserve such a punishment? Maybe I'm not supposed to know... hm. Anyway, very nice. :)