Dead Feathers

enjoy....

Dead Feathers
Falling harmlessly from the sky
Where I come to realize
A fallen angel lays

As I impend
God shines down on me
To aid her
To restore her wings

But, her wings remain broken

 

Author's Note

tell me what you think

Reviews

[lindsay]

This is short and to the point. There might be a few punctuation issues, but the poem and meaning is amazing.

[Kenny L. Mitchell]

Good! I see you are using metaphors to get your points across. I like metaphors personally. Also, simply capitalize your i in the above piece and I consider it perfect. Good work, keep it up!

[Hope McKenzie]

Wow...this is...wow. I know that isn't exactly helpful, but I honestly don't have a word to describe this poem...It's that good.
Great Job

[Georgia Gypsy]

You did well with how sad this feels, too true that once a 'angel' losses her/his wings they may never get them back.
Insiteful that the wings arent just lost, they are rotting perhaps from the misdeed of shame that caused them to be shed in the first place....
so many different ways to interpret this...
very well done!

[Last Lying Look]

This is very sad.
It really got to me.
"God shines down on me
To aid her
To restore her wings
But, her wings remain rotted "
I'm not sure if I'm correct on this one but the way I interpreted it was a message of "no one can change you, you have to change yourself" type of thing.
I hope I'm not way off base.
This write really touched me.
Great work!
-Elissa :)

[Lizanne]

Good writing sir. You took a poem and gave it a moral. No matter how much you may want to, or how hard you try and even pray about it......you cannot fix everything. I really like this piece. Your pen served you very well on it.

[Sseoni]

What a wonderful poem! Although it was short, it said a lot! I love the last verse! It's quite sad, but a great poem! :D

[Astro Annie]

I like your use of the word "harmlessly". That's a relative thing here. Well-written.