Dead Feathers

enjoy....

Dead Feathers
Falling harmlessly from the sky
Where I come to realize
A fallen angel lays

As I impend
God shines down on me
To aid her
To restore her wings

But, her wings remain broken

 

Author's Note

tell me what you think

Reviews

[Raven666]

i really like it, because i makes me think about how God can't always fix what is broken. it makes me think that even though everyone hopes God will be there for them, God is just there to watch over and not there to aid or restore anything.

(sorry but i really don't believe in God but it depends on the person i guess)

[deeps]

This is such a sad write here. Beuatifully written.
Has a wonderful flow to it as well.

[gravitylava]

Kind of sad, but I like how you put God in it. (I'm really religious) Not to be so obsessed with religion, but I feel like it gives it more meaning, like there is some belief in it. I really am not making sense, but this poem is freaking awesome!

[Stephanie]

There's a lot of helplessness and pain in so short a poem, and that's impressive. Plus the idea of a fallen angel that can't be helped is really cool, creative. Awesome write

[Stacey Watts]

Very beautiful. I like the sad feel to it. Very well written.

[Nae Nae]

This is so cold, I can really feel the pain and sorrow in this. Even if unintended I think it really shaddows over it. Again I see that the simple, short way you put this has still left me feeling exactly what I believe it intends. This is fantastic, and I think you should defenitely keep it up.

Nae-Nae ...

[Cassandra D.]

This is beautiful though it is very small. I enjoyed reading this! Heck, I'll read it again!

[---]

I really like it, however in my opinion you could have used a better word that rotted....something more graceful to make the poem flow better. Other than that, I find it incredibly beautiful and insightful.

~Denae~

[Benjamin L. Weekly]

First of all I like it. It seems almost like a Haiku with it's brevity and contrast.

OK right off the lowercase i's need to be capitalized. The image of a fallen angel is so often used in poetry I'd tend to call it a cliche. Also, the word rotten seems to clash with the spirit of the poem. Perhaps "lifeless" would serve better in it's place. while I'm at it I'll also mention the word "harmlessly" seems out of place. Were we afraid of the feathers being dangerous? This word may draw the reader off into a different direction than you want.

These issues aside it's a very good piece. Keep writing,
- Ben

[R J Askew]

Great title. Why are they dead? And a nice little surprise...angel feathers. Most people who write about angels do so in a sugary way, so it is refreshing and novel to find that angels can lose their feathers. I mean, why not? But you didn't write this to lay a pleasant little surprise on us. You are in some deeply melancholic mood, iconoclatic, misanthropic from where everything looks grim ... all of life is bleak, there is no hope and even angel feathers rot. You confront us with a fall, death and then more the rottenness of this stark experience we are all trapped in. Strong stuff.