The Cold And Us Alike

for the cold people

The cold is home
It is my haven
Everyone curse its name
The hell of heaven

The cold is wants it called
No special names
No special games
Nothing at all

Everyone like the summer
The cold gets the back seat
Of the midnight bumper
The cold never beat a retreat

The cold is hard to like
Its hard to please
Its hard to love
But the cold and us alike

The cold
The old cold
Mr. bitter cold
I respect you

The cold
The frozen
The bitter
The poised

The cold
Control the cold
Impossible
Unthinkable

Learn to love it
Or learn to hate it
Embrace it!
As your own

The cold is us
The human race is cold
We lost the cold
We lost its respect.

Author's Note

tell me what you think! :) and point out any errors

Reviews

This is hard. Really in-your face and blunt-sort of a wake-up call to humanity (like most of your other ones.) I really enjoy it! Keep it up! :)

[Nae Nae]

Very repeating in the signal you send, but I really think that it fits together nicely, "The cold is hard to like
Its hard to please Its hard to love But the cold and us alike" So true but yet at the same time I feel fantasy lurking beneath the "cold" surface. Very "chilling" and fantastically written.

Nae-Nae ...

[Benjamin L. Weekly]

The cold is wants it called
- I think you want "The cold is what it's called"
The cold is use
- I think you want "us" instead of use.

Ok there's a couple issues with this poem that I have. First of all, the term "The cold" is repeated so often but not in a rhythmic fashion. Try making the poem shorter and using the term "the cold" either only once or in a regular place in the verse format.

Second, switch up what you talk about more. There's a few verses in here where each line basically says the same thing. Verses 2, 5 and 7 are good examples. Just as it would be strange for an artist to paint the same picture over and over again, a good poet will speak about his subject by painting many different pictures.

Good luck,
-Ben

[lindsay]

Great ending. Very honest and truthful =]

[Tina Kline]

A very fascinating look at Cold. As I read this I saw it as two things, as how some people treat others and a very cold environment. Both can be hard to endure. I love the way you wrote it.

Excellent writing.

[Kenny L. Mitchell]

This reminds me of a Robert Frost poem. I like the way it's structured and I'm feeling the emotion behind it as well! Great work here!

[---]

Well done. I like it.

The cold
The old cold
Mr. bitter cold
I respect you

I like this stanza, mostly because of the use of the word 'Mr.' But you could use some more punctuation to get a better flow.

~Phoenix~

[Sseoni]

I really liked this! Personally, I love the cold, but I can't survive in it! The cold is awesome and so was your poem! I liked the fact that you were very descriptive and detailed about the cold! Fantastic poem! :D

[Lizanne]

Loved your take on the cold. You liken the cold to the coldness of the human feeling process. Deep and thought provoking. Your talent shines with this one.

[Georgia Gypsy]

Very thought provoking. the underlying tone of cold being a feeling, emotion or state of being held me entranced and made me find how your words affected my feelings.
Powerful write here.
Great Job J.R. really enjoyed!
:)