Snow

enjoy

The guiltless hills touch the gray sky.

Snow crystals escalated ever so gently to soil.            

I stick out my tongue desiring to savor the sweet taste of elegance in a smaller, white shape. 

The crunch of snow with every step I take.

My eyes fixated out toward the most dazzling, most adoring, most caring girl in this winter Eden. 

I approach her softly.

Her long, silky brown hair wavering in the composed climate.  Her eyes are just as angelic as a crystal.

Her voice is as acquiet and as gifted as an archangel. 

She and I hugged and our hearts have the same mission.

Make one another happy.

Snow.

Author's Note

just tell me what you think and point out any errors

Reviews

[Lunar Lightning]

This is a very beautiful poem though I do think
that you could make the spacing more organized
and less whimsicle like it was in the poem. It seemed
to me like you did it by accident the spaces take no real
shape, you know? Also, it sounds like you have more to say
about the girl in the poem. It sounds as if it is someone
you really care for. So keep on writing and good job!

Luna

(Oh and just so the hint is taken, I made the review an example of what I meant by make the spacing more organized and maybe you did it on perpose so if so, sorry)

[Sseoni]

What a beautiful poem! I love it! So detailed and descriptive! So unique and free flowing! Excellent choice of words and great vibe of the poem! :D

[The Elder]

This is a nice piece. I especially like the closing line, " Make one another happy".

[Denni]

i think this is great! i like how you describe the landscape

[SLAlexander]

Excellent poem. :)

[Voison]

Beautiful and from the heart :-)

[Brianna Brie]

I like the thought of finding love in the middle of the winter right there in the innocence of a snow flake. I wouldn't change a thing. It is precious and sweet, and it makes me feel calm and happy.

[Pen Draggin']

I liked the use of long breath-lines. The punctuation is used very effectively but I think that the ending needs to be re-thought. The final line seems far too detached from the rest of the piece.

[Rick Puetter]

Dear J.R.,

This poem has a wonderful floating feeling. This stems largely, I think, from your leisurely, unhurried care in description. This is extremely nice and mimics in poetic form the slow and gentle fall of snow.

Very best regards,

Rick

[UpComesDown]

your a pretty good writer. I like this a lot! nicely done and i love the form.

Make one another happy.

^ my favorite line ^.^

[Georgia Gypsy]

Lovely poem, great sentiment.
I also agree with Lizanne, it's hard to write a wonderful review when she says such great things, so i have to agree with her!
:)