"Pilot"

A Screenplay by Jared Payne

Episode 1 of a planned web series "Off the Stage"

(camera pans in behind Ellie walking past RTP practicing a monologue with their eyes closed [focusing hard])

(while Caine is seen at the front door, frustrated and struggling as they can’t open the door [overdramatic tugging and growling, possible even putting both feet on the door and hanging from the door handle] )

Ellie:

[cheesy rehearsing tone]

but it’s my husband, and it’s real, and I can’t get that picture out of my head. I want it to go away. I want it…to..(forgets line so repeats previous sentence to try and remember). I want it to go away?… I want it to go away…(cont.)

( camera pans behind Molly, who walks over crosswalk and begins to head to the door but spots Ellie. Who is now sitting on the sidewalk repeating “I want it to go away”. Making Molly concerned, before walking by and heading towards the door.)

(Caine [Melanie Caine] spots Molly and immediately stops struggling and backs away from the door, trying to pretend nothing happened)

Caine:

I think...I think it’s locked.

(Molly makes another concerned grin before grabbing the door handle, and pushing it hard enough to open it, then walk...)

Molly:

[looking at the camera]

Stop...STOP! I can’t do this. [mild yell] This script sounds like it was written by children! Ellie’s sitting on the sidewalk, and Caine’s acting like a nice, socially awkward teenager, and I’m only getting paid $15 dollars an hour.

Caine:

I’m only getting $10, what kind of...

(Molly puts her hand over the camera frustrated and angry)

Molly:

Do you know what stop the camera means?

(When the hand is lifted off the camera it has shifted to the left, and you can see a confused Nathan standing in the distance)

Nathan:

I haven’t got to do my bit though?

(The whole cast begins argue, until the camera muffles and cuts out)

(~cuts to theme song~)

(when it returns, it’s like the whole situation hasn’t happened and it starts with interviews)

Nathan:

[to the camera]

I mean of course I’m nervous to audition, everyone’s nervous when they do something for the first time. The only reason I’m here today is because Molly said she didn’t want to be left alone with Ellie. And I wouldn’t blame her.

Molly:

[to the camera]

Nathan, Oh? Yeah I forced him to come. I’m only here because Ellie invited me to audition, [nervous laugh] and I couldn’t say no cause… Ellie scares me.

Ellie:

[to the camera]

I only invited Molly, because I didn’t want to audition alone, I couldn’t care less if she got a part or not. She’s kind of annoying.

Caine:

Name? Caine, but I also go by Caine. [pause] Oh it’s not that type of interview, well then! [pause]...I don’t know why I’m here.

[short pause before camera cuts off]

(The camera pans behind Molly who is trying to get up the stairs, but wants to back down out of nervousness)

(The camera returns again [now in the lobby] to show Molly is crying in the corner, hiding her face)

(Caine attempts to confront her)

Caine:

Are...you [Caine puts her hand on Molly's shoulder in a concerned parent style)

Molly:

[instantly turns around and lets out a blood curdling growl]

Caine:

[Makes pillsbury dough boy sound before quickly scurrying away, due to what she just saw.]

Ooh, oh my. Sorry.

(Camera cuts to another interview of Molly)

Molly:

[looks tired, nervous and sick]

[pause, looks into camera, then pukes into trashcan]

(Caine stands behind door frame, waiting for Molly to walk by before continuing to the auditorium, but making sure to stay 10 steps behind Molly)

(Camera cuts and is shown again facing the auditorium seats, because of what happens next [it’s confusing and will most likely require explanation])

(Ellie sits down on the left side of the seats [front row] and Ellie is seen to the far right of the seats.)

(Caine enters the auditorium, and is focusing on Molly, so she sits to the far right. After that though, Caine notices she just sat down beside Ellie, but before Caine moves, Nathan enters and sits four seats to the right of Molly, and accidentally sits beside Caine.)

(Caine doesn’t like sitting in the middle so moves to the left, and accidentally sits beside Molly. Then Nathan realizes he sat beside Ellie and moves between Caine and Molly, but this makes Molly uncomfortable, so she accidently moves beside Ellie.)

(The cast continues moving from seat to seat like this in a comedic way, as many of them doesn’t like a certain person in the cast and doesn’t want to sit beside them, so the eventually end up sitting two seats from each other in a specific order)

(once all of that has finished, the director [Jody Brewer] announces a name to do their monologue [or if we can’t get an adult to do this part, the cast begins to get on stage one by one to do their monologue anyway] Nathan is called to do his monologue first)

Nathan:

Good morning Mrs. audience and Mr. audience too, I hope…

[continues monologue in background as camera cuts to Molly in the seats]

Molly:

[extremely nervous mumbles monologue under breath]

Ellie:

[noticing Molly, she confronts her like Molly is a kid]

Are you nervous? I’m sure it’ll be fine. There's nothing wrong with being an extra [laughs]

Molly:

[confused]

Why do you think I’ll be an extra? I haven’t gone yet?

Ellie:

[realizing what she said she tries to lie out of it]

Oh... [nervous laugh] did I say that? I’m sure you’ll be fine. [smiles]

Molly:

[loosens up]

Really?

Ellie:

[cheesy look of confidence]

Emmh, Ha

(camera cuts to an interview style again, and it’s interviewing Ellie)

Ellie:

[stares in distance before looking at camera]

[pauses]

She’s gonna crash and burn.

(camera cuts back to auditorium as Nathan steps off stage and Ellie is called next)

Ellie:

[Ellie attempts to do a dramatic piece but, she delivers it terribly and it’s almost comedic]

I bottle things up. Things [waves hands around]. In a bottle. It makes me sad. I hide them. Emo-tions, My Emotions. I know it’s not a good thing, but it has done this to me. Life has done this to all the… Emo-tions. [falls down to the floor and becomes quiet] My Emotions.

(Ellie steps off stage thinking she did a great job, and she makes a cocky laugh as she passes by Molly)

(Next is Caine who steps on stage semi-confident, as she wouldn’t mind if she got a part or not.)

Caine:

Mother. Father. Forgive me for my ways. It’s just that the world is burning. We are burning… [Faster pace] The children let out screams as their lungs fill with smoke, and their parents hold them close. While the mountains rain fire and anger on the city. Punishing them for unjustifiable crimes...They’re burning. Were all burning. And there's Nothing! Any of us can do about it.

(Caine sits down as everyone has a concerned look on their face, at the extremely depressing monologue. All except for Ellie who mumbles when Caine passes by.)

Ellie:

Could of been better.

(Caine stops walking and slowly turns her head towards Ellie)

Caine:

[quietly]

What’d you say?

Ellie:

[even quieter to mock]

Could of been better

(Caine is about to rush and throw down with Ellie)

Caine:

Booooyy!

(right before a fist is thrown the camera cuts out to a technical difficulties sign, and cheerful elevator music plays in the background)

(the camera returns with an interview on Caine in the lobby, and Caine now wears a paper sign that reads “I misbehaved” and at the bottom read “From: Nathan, To: Caine”)

Caine:

I don’t want to talk about it

Camera holder:

[pause]

So what’s with the hair?

Caine:

It fell out

Camera holder:

Wait, what?

Caine:

[looking dead center into the camera]

I shaved it back in the days when I made money, by having people bet on me. When I used to fight in the CVS backrooms. [pause] The first thing they go for is the hair.

Camera holder:

[partially scared]

Okay, I guess that’s a wrap.

(the camera returns in the auditorium on Caine who is stair down Ellie, then the director calls another name)

(Molly name is called next and she humbles walks upstage and is about to do her monologue)

Molly:

[deep breath] Days go by…

(Molly is swiftly interrupted by the director)

Jody:

Thank you. Off the stage, now. That’s enough.

(Molly's extremely confused before just stepping off stage and sitting down.)

Jody:

Thank you that’s all we need, the cast line will be posted in a couple hours, you can leave or wait outside for the list to be posted.

(The cast stands up and walks out of the auditorium and out the door)

(The camera returns outside to the cast and a couple hours has passed since they’ve left. The cast is sitting at the side of the building and Ellie runs to them to tell them the list has been posted.)

Ellie:

Guys.. guys… the list is up but if you’re not ashamed of having a small part I could just check the list and tell you what…

(the cast jumps up and runs to the list as they’ve been waiting overly long, and doesn’t really care what Ellie has to say.)

Ellie:

[the cast passes Ellie and runs to the list to check it before she does]

Okay then. [annoyed smile]

(camera returns to be behind the cast who is piled up looking at the list, except for Ellie who can’t get through the mob.)

Caine:

[semi-disappointed]

Principal role. That’s definitely not grass blade #3

Nathan:

Supporting character. Not too bad… not too bad.

Molly:

[tries to check the list but Ellie stops her.]

Ellie:

Molly it’s okay if…

Molly:

[checks list and interrupts Ellie]

I got principal role too. [smiles]

Ellie:

[lowers brow]

Wait..what..

[checks list]

Schoolboy number 2!

(everyone kind of pauses and backs away from Ellie except for Molly)

Molly:

[concerned for Ellie but also happy to say this]

Don’t worry Ellie there is nothing wrong with being an extra.

(Ellie freezes and Molly backs up quickly afraid, of what Ellie will do, and regretting what she said.)

(the rest of the cast continues down the outside steps and is about to depart.)

Nathan:

Well… I guess we’ll see each other in about a week.

Caine:

[Mumbles under breath]

It’ll be a year since I killed a raccoon, with my own rib next week

Nathan:

What?

Caine:

[fake smile]

Yay, can’t wait for next week.

(cuts to an interview of Nathan)

Nathan:

This is...this is an interesting group of people [pause and light sigh]

This is going to be a long 3 months.

(the cast is about to depart until in the distance you hear Ellie let out a blood curdling scream, and Molly begins to run.)

(Caine follows shortly behind Molly, because she knows that Ellie is more than what Caine used to take on in the CVS backrooms.)

Caine:

[concerned]

Oh, man she ain’t playing around

Nathan:

[scared of what Ellie will do and follows short behind Molly and Caine]

Molly! Wait. Please.

(The cast begins to run and the camera turns to Ellie who is running like a mad woman, chasing Molly, then the camera turns to the right and fades out as the run into the distance.)

End.