I’m So Much More Than Just The Letter ‘S’ When I’m With You

Our time together has always been
a shaky finger
on the sensitive trigger
of a gun

Every night I find myself
playing Russian roulette
as I tape photos of you with
photos of me and dream

I think to the times
when your mind would cross miles of
bleak landscapes
just to say hello

I was brushing
the long curls of my hair
at the vanity when you called-
my phone vibrating off onto the floor

Do you know how long
I waited for you
To tell me that
you loved me?

I had dreamed it up clearly
As if I was planning a wedding-
Where I’d be-
What exactly I’d be doing

For so long you were
the impenetrable surfaces
of the widest, wildest ocean
but I finally broke through

Once I saw what was beneath
I never wanted
smooth waters
ever again

When I look at
the smooth skin of my hands
I trace the curling veins-
They remind me of your eyelashes

But as I look in my closet
in my journals and even
my eyes in the mirror
I don’t know who I’m looking at

The other day my mother asked
how I’ve grown up so fast
and that’s when she found out
about you

Our love has been a secret
like a locket I keep to my chest
but isn’t it the things we love most
that we want to keep all to ourselves?

Reviews

[Jennifer Warrington]

Yay! I loved this! Firstly, your title drew me right in....and the first stanza too. (ok...blocking pads in place) I do like the second stanza but russian roullete is a bit cliched. I would start with the lines "I tape photos of you with photos of me" or even better I would describe those photos...what were they of...what were they doing...try to keep away from abstracts. (i.e. I think to the times) describe it instead. Think larger yet smaller. Like a microscope staring at you with his eyebrow lifted at a ninety degree angle. Why didn't you want smooth waters again? describe the moment that happened. (that could be a poem in itself) I love what you put out. I love that stanza: When I look at
the smooth skin of my hands
I trace the curling veins-
They remind me of your eyelashes.

I love this statement...that is the direction you want to go. It's personal. It tells me about you...yet spells the intimacy of you both without just blurting it out and saying it. So if you want my review: describe...and describe more. Take a single moment or two (not three...that might be too much..no...go three if you want lol) You have some great bones here to flesh out!