Silence, Cold, and Fear

The still silence

That holds all my dreaded fears

The swirling cold

That rests deep within me

The overwhelming fear

Of losing myself before I find you

Reviews

[Rick Puetter]

Dear Princess JaniK,

I agree with Legion that one of the two times you ues the word "fear" should be changed. I'd change the second one and use perhaps "dread", although Legion's suggestion "terror" is also good.

My main problem with the poem is that there is not even a single sentence here. Yes, that causes a certain bit of tension and this tension goes unanswered, but we also don't learn anything of your personal reactions to these fears. The reader must supply everything. Perhaps that is your intent. If so, then you've accomplished this feat, but you've missed, in my view, the greater opportunity of showing the reader your feelings and insights. Just my thoughts. Otherwise the poem flowed well and you were able to build lots of tension.

Very best regards,

Rick

[BULLET FOR MY VALENTINE]

I'm here honey don't feel lost with me i'll take you on a land of discovery fulfilling all of your wildest dreams and passions,loved this litlle piece very creative and full of memories.

[PaperHearts]

A very nicely written piece! You really captured the feeling of 'Silence, Cold, and Fear'.
The whole essence of the atmosphere was spot on, and I could really relate to it.
I really loved the last line: Of losing myself before I find you
A very heartfelt, relatable poem.
Well done,
~PaperHearts

[Legion]

A lovely bit of anxiety you have worked up here. Great tension. You nailed that feeling well. One thought though, since the poem is so short you might consider using another word in place of the second "fear" in the piece. Perhaps "terror" instead. Just a thought.