Standing

Standing on a cliff

Standing in a sea of fog

Standing on the edge of my dreams

 

 

Author's Note

Tell me what you think

Reviews

[Rick Puetter]

Dear Princess JaniK,

You seem to like these type of poems, i.e., poems that are full of potential with out attempt to substantiate the potential. That's not a criticism. It is simply an observation. And your words do create substantial tension in the reader that goes unanswered, and hence remains past the end of the poem. However for me I am left unsatisfied. I want to know what's next. (Maybe you do too, and this is simply encapsulating your feelings and that is the goal of the poem.)

Now assuming that it is the builing of tension that is at the heart of this poem, I might suggest on the third line that you use something like: "Poised on the edge of my dreams". Yes, the repeated word "standing" has a certain nice effect, but repeating it twice largely accomplishes that goal already. A contrasting last line that further builds tension might be even better. See what you think.

Very best regards,

Rick

[Michael N.]

I agree, I like how it doesn't take much for you to make us take a step back. Three simple lines, and now I'm inspired!

[Joel Alvarado]

Hmmm� Very simple yet thought provoking. Standing is a very good word� powerful and mysterious. Nice job.

[[untitled]]

a deep poem.. i like it ..alot of emotions expressed in this write...well writen..

Very, very metaphorical. The whole "standing on the edge" of something seems to show the terror that you feel of what lies ahead. Or the rush, like you can't believe that everything's happening so fast.
I love this, and I'm adding it to my favorites. :)

[Michael X]

this is a dreamscape of ponderings janik, really well derived from a center of creative aspect that broadens the horizon, in subtle,passionate ways your words create a metaphorical concept that dwells on the aspect of imagination, standing on the edge of life's cliff, to fall is to dream, to dream is to hope, to hope
is to believe that dreams come true, you've captured an essence of invitation, conceptually granted.
keepit up, I'm sure many a readers would enjoy reading such stately concepts

[Nick Almanza]

wow tho its short still says alot
its really good:)

[John Stussy]

I like it. Short, concise, and it captures quite a lot while leaving enough for the reader to contemplate. Great job JaniK.

[Poeticpiers]

brief but effective piece of prose.