I'm sorry

I’m sorry

 

How could you leave me?

I thought we could try again..

For so many years

I battled to keep you, but it was not to be.

 

A lifetime of memories,

Through laughter and tears,

We built a fabulous life together

Thought it would last forever though.

 

I try to recall what went wrong

Can’t put my finger on why it crumbled?

Our fairytale relationship

So envied by many.

 

Please come back my darling,

I beg you to try again!

I promise to try harder,

To be your soul mate again.

 

I cannot think what else to say

Except I love you

Please accept my apology

Let’s try again.

 

Reviews

[MJ Durston]

I think I can definately understand where this poem came from, particulary what you must have been feeling at the time. I don't think it flowed so well, but I think that fact is hidden by the relatability of it overall. Could have used some punctuation here or there which definately would have improved it's flow by a lot actually. I think you did well here.

There's always room for improvement.
Best of luck in future writing,
Melissa

[KAREN]

Alot of people can relate to this poem! Great job!!

[Joshua Smit]

such a big difference!!

[Joshua Smit]

its good, like mellisa said, it could really do with some punctuation.

[Goodbye]

I do feel you in this piece - the pain, the angst, but agree that it could be tightened up, either by a little re-phrasing, perhaps punctuation. But your expressions are honest and emotional, which really, really come through!

[sarah]

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!! THIS IS SOOOOOOO SWEET!!!!

[Wondering Mind]

sad pain, but hope still lies in that last stanza

[justice]

Sad poetry has an odd place. You see, I find a thin line between a sad poem and a journal entry. I make the difference when the reader feels involved in the poem. I just did not feel that involvement in this piece. That is just one person's opinion. I would suggest a little less telling and more showing to improve the emotional connection that a reader will feel while reading this piece. Thank you for sharing and please, keep writing!

[M Garcia]

Great write. Some, myself included, find it hard to write such pain. You did a wonderful job. Thanks for sharing.

[.]

. i've lost my soul mate too ... no contact ... it's so sad ... :( ...

[Cassie316]

Great write! sad though... hope its not a true story. One thing you could do if you wanted to improve is to help the reader though by adding more lines in to tell us what made the relationship so magical.
It would be really interesting if you wrote a poem that went along with this one as the other lovers reply =) this is a good poem, and makes me wanna know what the others reply is!!