Let's Talk Turkey

Humor piece about the use of cliches.

I'm at my wit's end. Some things are better left unsaid than said badly.  Nothing gets my goat more than listening to, or reading, someone use all too common cliches. I know, been there, done that, right? Sometimes I realize I get all bent out of shape by a few misplaced phrases, but at the end of the day, bad writing is bad writing. I'm not trying to beat a dead horse. I realize this has been said before. I just call a spade a spade when I see it. Take the phrase, "at the end of the day," for instance. This one annoys the heck out of me. Clear as mud, right? Why can't they be more original? I don't really want to open a can of worms here. Drives me up a wall. Every Tom, Dick, and Harry can repeat these tired old phrases. I'd be happy as a clam if they didn't hem and haw around what they actually wanted to say. It'd be a horse of a different color. (Sorry if I seem hot under the collar.) It's only a matter of time before people stop buying this rubbish. It's an uphill battle.We need to vanquish the enemy, these cliches.  That would make my day. I know, you're probably thinking I should get off my high horse. Who made me the god of the English language, right? I'm not pulling any punches.To each his own. I'm just putting it out there, not trying to reinvent the wheel. Little tongue in cheek that most won't touch with a ten foot pole. I know no one asked me for my two cents worth. Every rank and file writer is probably going to be as red as a beet at me. I'm not three sheets to the wind. This is just the tip of the iceberg, my friends. Shakespeare has been rolling over in his grave for centuries. I want people to start thinking outside the box, take the plunge, take the bull by the horns, man, and just write something new and original. I'll give you the ole red carpet treatment if you could pull that off. You only live once, so lick your wounds and just do it. I want to see writers put their best foot forward. Stop using cliches. It's so last year. No guts, no glory, so let's make the best of a bad situation and live and let live. Write what you want but I won't read you. Words fail me. (I really missed the boat on that one!) Peace out.