To Be A Mother

For Katheran Winner- 4th Place- To Your Children Contest

Like a boulder had been placed upon my
running path I encountered you for the first time.
A choice that would forever
change my direction.

 

Was I ready to be a mother?

 

First a question of reality you came

A medical miracle,
and as I watched my belly swell with your existance
I knew that it was truth.

 

The sweetness of your breath
intrigued and comforted me
as I held you to my breast
and fed us both.

 

Everything you touched and discovered
I took pleasure in
Watching you learn and grow
Every question you asked
Every picture you painted
I remember and cherish.

 

Peaceful angel sleeping in my arms,
I delighted at your little ways.
Perfect, curious, mischevious, obedient child.

 

The courage it must have taken to tell me

that your father "touched you" like that.

 

How I cried for you when you were hurt.
how I cried for your soul to be healed
from the monsterous pain you should have never felt.

 

I am so sorry Angel Girl.
I did not know.
I could not save you in time.
I am so sorry.

 

Fighting to protect you from the beast.
Moves we made together,
changing again the direction of life we knew.

 

Moving forward, forgiving,
working through the pains of deception.

Learning to Trust.
I love your loving heart.

Life's lessons bittersweet.

 

Strawberry blond, angel face.
Your own decisions and paths taken.
Still my sweet baby, my first born.
My forever image of you.

 

Longing for love and acceptance,
you now know the sweetness of a baby breath

upon your breast.

The joy you have given me is now yours.

The discoveries, and life lessons

yours to love or hate.

 

I wish I could take from you all the sorrow of your youth.
If I could I would replace each and every tear with only the joy,
but then you would not be the lovely woman you are today.

 

Compassionate.

Patient.

Greatful.

Loyal.

Beautiful.

Fiercly independent
and Strong...

Enough to be a mother.

Reviews

[T. Michele Smock]

very baeutiful

[emmajoy]

A wonderful piece of writing, full of memories and emotions, the absolute joy of being a mother yet the worry and responsibility of that excrutiatingly hard job for life. Seems you treasure it all, good and bad, happy and sad. And then, at the end, you meld your feelings with your daughter's, now a mother herself .. such a wonderful ending!

Tis Mothering Sunday today in the UK, this makes a fitting post. x

[.]

didn't see that coming..I was joyously reading and then the mood changed and so did mine..that is a powerful poem..to make another feel...thank you

[Inkcognito]

Heartbreaking...beautifully compiled

[Liza]

you gave me chills, it must be wonderful to have a mother like you; so compassionate, emphatetic and liberting with emotion and knowledge.

[luciddreamer]

Such a beautiful write...
Peace

[Goodbye]

So, so lovely...

[Misty Blue Eyes]

this is making me cry its very well written. as a mother myself i have been there

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

oh you do tear my hard walls down with this deeply moving write~ you take me through the bliss I myself knew upon bringing into the world my own little cherub~then move me through oceans of rage~ and yes~ they are monsters wearing human faces~ beasts that have elearned how to engage the manipulative smile just so to make us believe they are but victims themselves~
and then you hook my threads through the loop of survival~ a latchhook tapestry where the map of the survivor is etched in everything strong and beautiful despite the claws of the monsters~
and there
the last line
the rare gem shines stunning~ within its own setting~

[Samuel Dickens]

This is very touching. I'm a father, but I understand how it is to love your child more than anything else in the world and want to always protect them from harm. You sound like the kind of good mother that we all would wish for.