Its not a love storyA Story by Anindita Janhabee Sometimes, best friends behave like lovers and it becomes difficult for us to judge or get the exact relation... ‘‘The track of life continues, life as a train
keeps moving but one doesn’t know where his destination is…’’ These were my
words after my best friend left me alone. Our friendship has become the past but
the memories are still present… There is no ‘once upon a time’ or ‘accident of
cycles’. But the day I met Rihaan was special for me, the day which comes once
a year in everyone’s life as birthday. And as Rihaan met me on my birthday, he
was just like a gift from God. Our friendship grew miraculous as we began
thinking about each other the whole day. He had become ‘Admirable Rihaan’ while
I was called ‘Adorable Jenny’. It seemed like we were on the top of the world.
The never ending conversations and innumerable jokes made us more closer. We
were turned enchanted and elated with the unique friendship we shared. Our
friendship had become popular among our class-mates too. The first person whom I would see when I
reached school was Rihaan. He would wait for me at the school gate, holding a
book. We wouldn’t talk, though. We would just smile at each other in order to
start a good day. Next, would meet at the 2nd place which was an
imaginary place (me standing upstairs, out of my class room and Rihaan, downstairs
of the front block; where we would keep staring at each other and share almost
everything even without saying a single word). I didn’t ever expect to come
across a friend who was so admirable, understanding, funny, smart, intelligent
and good-looking at the same time. He had changed my thought of being
‘unnoticed’ as he used to notice each little thing in me. He was the first
person to ask me about the wishes of my life and also the first person to be my
friend who appreciated my inner beauty. He liked my way of being simple, my way
of helping others, my way of writing poetry; in short, he just liked the way I
am myself. Unlike every story of friendship, ours was
unusual and rare because it lasted for a limited time of only three months.
Neither there was a fight nor a misunderstanding. It was the distance which
made us apart, separated two inseparable friends. For me it was the saddest
moment of my life which made me apart from Rihaan. I liked him beyond his
imaginations and I am sure he did it too. We knew that we met at the last bit
and were soon going to be apart. Therefore, we enjoyed each moment of those
three months with boundless felicity. We chose to spend every moment together
so we never remained absent in the school during those three months. And
in the Sundays, we would meet at the 3rd place (it was the internet
site where we had instant messaging for hours together), which gave me immense
pleasure " back to back replies within ten seconds… Along with chocolates, we
shared smiles and tears and with every passing day, our friendship had started
to grow and became strong. Those fights and make-ups, stealing and gifting,
staring and ignoring, joking and feeling, smiling and blushing were no more going
to happen to me. Nor would anyone call me ‘adorable’. So we enjoyed together
till the last bit, the three entire months. Before Rihaan left the town, he
wanted me to wish him ‘good bye’ with a smiling face. And I did that because that
was his last wish he demanded from me. I was already disconsolate. Besides, I
wanted to say him thanks for all that he had done to make me smile, all that he
had taught me, the adorableness he had seen in me and all the wonderful moments
he had spent with me. So I penned down a poem related to our friendship and
requested him to read the poem before he left. And he was so happy reading the
poem that he almost began to cry. Next, it was the time for being apart and the
kind of pain I got when he left me alone was just unbearable. Then, the school
gate would be lonely, the 2nd place- lacking someone special and the
3rd place - empty. After shedding tears for nights and missing his
presence for days, I felt like I was the weakest and also the saddest one.
After two months, I was changed. I smiled, of course, but that was just a mask
I had put on to cover the deep grief in me… Rihaan had been the perfect
supporter of mine who would point out my sadness at once even when I would
smile at him. He would refill the joy and tranquility in me by just speaking
some words. But without him, I felt like I was the loneliest in the whole
world, like the sky which I was about to touch had extended its limits, like
the reason of my smiles had vanished somewhere. I was badly missing my Admirable.
Calling or messaging Rihaan was of no value as he either rejected the call or
just ignored. That was not his rudeness perhaps, only because talking to me
meant listening to my cry first, which made him feel weak. Thus, we seldom
talked or messaged. I had never felt so lonely like I did in those two months. All those had become my ‘past’ which I did not
know existed in everyone’s life… At first, I felt comfortable sitting alone in
my room, re-reading my conversations with Rihaan, viewing his pictures, reading
his poems again and again and shedding tears by remembering his face " his
smile, anger, blush, rudeness, laugh and all that I had seen in the past few
months. I was totally depressed, like, my world was turned upside down. I loved
doing all those things which made me even sadder. Next, I started writing few
lines about my feelings and by chance, those lines turned into a poem. I felt a
bit relaxed when I read that. Then, I tried once again. And I wrote another
poem which was better than the first one. I wanted him to read those but it was
quite unfortunate for me. As the time passed by, I made myself busy with
my studies. But still, I just couldn’t place Rihaan aside even for a while. I
engaged my mind with my studies while my heart was still engaged thinking of
him. After trying a lot to forget the past, I did not succeed. Later, I
discovered " ‘’I cannot ever forget Rihaan. He may not think of me each day but
each moment I’ll keep wishing the best for him. Even though I was not the best
for him, he was the most perfect for me…’’ I was really grateful to have had such a past
which was just like my best dream ever. Those days were the best days of my
life and I wished those days to come back into my life. Sometimes, our past
becomes our future and I hoped the same for myself. I remember Rihaan saying, ‘’Friendship is
God’s blessing. If you have it, then nothing is better than that and even if
you lose it, you have still not lost the battle…’’ And me replying, ‘’Some
infinites are more than other infinites. Some people seek the happiness of five
hundred days in just one day and some people take five hundred days to seek the
happiness of a single day…’’ After passing days and nights thinking about
Rihaan and re-reading his messages, I finally realized that ‘PAST’ is not just
a word of four letters " P, A, S and T. It is something which is sometimes good
and sometimes bad. And ‘my’ past, of course was very good " a beautiful
experience I had with my best friend. Besides, I discovered that the infinite sweet
moments that I have shared with Rihaan can’t be regarded as ‘regret’ only
because of one moment (the moment we were made apart). People say that one can’t
start the next chapter of his life until and unless he comes off the past. But according
to me, this is applicable only to the people with negative vision. Because I
thought, ‘past is not to be accepted and forgotten all the time; it can also be
re-written in the best possible way, may be in the future.’ And then I realized
how truthful my friendship was for Rihaan and how colorless my world was
without him… In order to draw a conclusion, I started finding
the real me. What people said did not matter to me because I knew that I was
different from them. So were my thoughts and vision. Some people tried accepting
the past and some just forgetting it. My loneliness and sadness may force me to
forget the past. But I opt to try my best to put it into my future. Without
believing my destiny or fate, I aspire to get back Rihaan in any way. All that
Rihaan had done for me is just beyond my imaginations. As he went far away from
me, I could not return him anything. Neither I could drive away his loneliness
nor could I be with him to hold his hands and support him. We had promised each
other to be in touch even after being apart where as it did not seem to happen.
Now, we just meet in the 4th place i.e. in my dreams… I wish Rihaan
would remember me forever. But I feel myself quite indefinite for this wish. I
have lost my best friend, of course, but I am determined enough to find him in
the future. I hope we’ll meet again someday, at some special place, when I’ll
recognize his face and he’ll recognize mine… And then, I will let him know how
colorless my life was without him… Rihaan was my past, he is lost in my present
but I will endeavor to make him my future.
I just
want to go against the past. And I want the past to know that it is not meant
to be accepted all the time. Neither is it meant to be forgotten. It can also
be put into the future in the best possible way. I intend to write my own story
" my own life, beyond destiny or fate. All of us live with our past. All of us
allow it to shape our future. But some of us know how to shrug the past. I
think that is who I am…
© 2016 Anindita JanhabeeAuthor's Note
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12 Reviews  Last Updated on August 20, 2016 Author
Anindita JanhabeeJeypore, Odisha, IndiaAbout"Writing as a part of my day seems to be the best hobby. And as a part of my life seems to be the perfect partner..." Hello!!! A little about me- Being a 16 yr old, I am currently enjoying th.. more..Writing
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