An Old Man's Life

A brief glimpse at the life of an old man who feels guilt even now about the biggest lie in his life.

The sound of a tolling clock woke the old man up. He rose like a corpse from the grave. He had very little of his hair left. It sat in a few small  swirls of white on his head. His knobbly knees shook beneath his frame. He grasped his cane in an iron hold and hobbled across the room. He stopped at his wardrobe and looked in the mirror at his bony frame. His dark eyes, once bright and handsome, were now sunk in age. His wasted face showed his high cheek bones in a most ghastly manner. He coughed feebly and sank lower on his cane. He shrank away from the mirror. He tightened his hold on his cane and exited the room slowly. He entered the kitchen of his old house at the same time as a jovial young man.

    “Good morning, Grandpa.” The young gentleman chuckled merrily. “I am going out to meet Susie later today.” The  old man beamed at his grandson.

“That’s my boy. You get all the ladies and bring ‘em back here to visit your grandpa sometime.”

The boy bent down and kissed his shrunken grandfather on the cheek. “I love you, Grandpa, but I don’t think anyone’s coming over today.”

“That’s too bad. I used to get all the women. Did you know that?”

The boy smirked, “Sure ya did, grandpa.”

“I did. Do you doubt me?”

“Grandma told me she was your first and only girlfriend ever.” Suddenly the old man became sober again. His grandson shook his head, “I’m sorry, Grandpa. That was tactless.”

“Nonsense. Whatever do you mean?” But all his former playfulness was gone and replaced by a vague smile that did not quite reach his eyes. He coughed feebly, sounding almost guilty.

The young boy put his hand on his grandpa’s shoulder. A car pulled up outside the window. “I’ve got to go, Grandpa. The cab is here.”

“See you later, then.”

“Take care of yourself while I’m gone. You know your chest is weak.” The young man wrapped his arms around his grandpa.

“Get going. Stop wasting time. Get Susie and bring her back here sometime,” he patted the boy on the cheek.

“Alright, Grandpa.” And with that he was gone. The old man sat shakily down in his chair by the kitchen table and pressed his forehead into the palm of his hand. Suddenly, tears began to dribble down his nose and onto the table. The old man jerked back, slightly surprised at himself. He wiped them away furiously. It was silly, really, to mourn now over a secret, a guilty lie, of long ago. But then he had been lively and had been loved...

The clock struck the hour again. It was nine. Her favorite time because nine was said to be a cursed number. “So we cancel out the bad luck by making it our favorite number too,” she used to whisper into his ear whenever the clock struck.

Suddenly his breath caught in his throat. He remembered the feeling of her hand on his cheek. The clock finished tolling. The old man began to sob convulsively. Through his sobs he whispered one word. “Mattie.” Over and over again. “Mattie. Mattie. Mattie.” Suddenly he was shouting her name. “Mattie, why did you leave me here? I have nothing. I have chained my grandson here to take care of his crazy grandpa. My only daughter is gone and I’m here... slowly wasting away. Why’d you leave me, Mattie? How could you?” He was shaking worse than ever now. His weak voice cracked and he fell to silent sobs. “And she hated you. Rachel, your sister, she hated your guts. But now she’s with you too. She left me like you did. And she knew your secret. Our secret. Our lie.” He was whispering now. “And I’m alone. With no one to love except a grandson who is chained to me. He must hate me. Mattie, how I loved you and how I regretted my marriage,” he spoke the last sentence through gritted teeth.

Suddenly, the old man couldn’t breath. He clutched his throat and toppled out of his chair in a sudden seizure. His eyes rolled to the back of his head and then he was still. His heart had stopped beating. He was gone.

The young grandson returned later that day, bringing with him a pretty girl, Susie. But the old man was dead and did not see her. The boy sobbed for days. The undertaker prepared him for the burial. Only two people were at the funeral: the priest and the grandson. And the old man was laid to rest next to his wife, Rachel.