Cat & Mouse Games

This is a children's story that I wrote quickly for my niece to illustrate when we were discussing Top Down Refinement. It served as the text to our project.

A little mouse was minding his own business eating some dropped bread crumbs he had found under the kitchen table when he noticed the family cat eying him up. He dashed off quickly into a near by hole in the wall with the cat right on his tail in pursuit of him. The cat calls out to the mouse in the hole "Why are you running from me and hiding in that hole?" she asks as if the mouses actions some how had confused her. The mouse answers "So you won't eat me!". The cat feigning hurt and honesty says "I just wanted to play, why don't you come back out and play for a while?". The mouse replies "No thanks, I really don't want to be eaten today.". The cat says feigning honesty and confusion "I ... I am not going to eat you!". The mouse replies "I know!" and scampers further down the hole into his layer for a nice little nap.

Reviews

[AprilRN1210]

What a cute, amusing little tale.. It is sweet and made me giggle.. It did make me curious as to the project it was to accompany... Very entertaining and I thoroughly enjoyed.. I did notice a few grammatical errors, but overall, written very well..

[Jamie R. Robillard Sr.]

Thanks, Yes I noticed some grammatical errors while I was migrating everything here from facebook. I will eventually edit it, but if you give me specific errors you see, then my editing will be that much easier :D. Take care, and thanks again.

[Jamie R. Robillard Sr.]

The major focus of the project was to illustrate Top Down refinement in a simply way my 10 year old niece could digest. I wrote the words and she drew a series of pictures for the book. Though we worked from and outline that encompassed the whole project.

[AprilRN1210]

well, I am not sure of some of these suggestions, but am just trying to help.. so here goes sir..(remember you asked)

"A little mouse was minding his own business(,) eating some dropped bread crumbs he( had) found under the kitchen table(,) when he noticed the family cat eying him up."... would delete "had" here flows better...

"He dashed off quickly into a (near by) hole in the wall with the cat right on his tail in pursuit of him."... nearby is one word isn't it? "in pursuit of him" really isn't needed here, since we know that he is right on his tail...

*The cat calls out to the mouse in the hole(,) "Why are you running from me and hiding in that hole?"

" (S)he asks as if the mouse(')s actions( some how) had confused her.".... not sure if should be "somehow" as in one word here...

"The mouse answers(,) "So you won't eat me!"(. ) extra period here...

"The cat(,) feigning hurt and honesty says(,) "I just wanted to play, why don't you come back out and play for a while?"(.) another extra period...

"The mouse replies(,) "No thanks, I really don't want to be eaten today."

"The cat says(,) feigning honesty and confusion(,) "I ... I am not going to eat you!"(.) another stray one... makes me wonder if did on purpose...

"The mouse replies(,) "I know!" and scampers further down the hole into his layer for a nice little nap."

I am so not the grammar expert... so please feel free to ignore, just trying to help.. and you did ask :(
it was my pleasure.. I enjoy your writing and look forward to reading more..

[AprilRN1210]

very sweet and entertaining way of doing it.. I enjoyed as I am sure she did.. very cute.. you should add the pictures on here, would be an endearing addition... I, for one, would love to see..

[Malister Mikey]

Can never be too careful lol. I thought this was a funny little story.

[Jamie R. Robillard Sr.]

Thanks Jamie

[EmmyReich]

This was such a cute short story! I loved it!

[Jamie R. Robillard Sr.]

Thank you EmmyReich

[MomzillaNC]

This little tale made me smile

[Jamie R. Robillard Sr.]

Thank you MomzillaNC, I almost did not post it because it was a bit silly. I am now glad that I did. There is no greater reward in life then to bring contentment, joy, and/happiness to another person.

[MomzillaNC]

I agree. When we are gifted with the opportunity to bring joy to anyone, we become the hand of God, his Voice in the tempest of the harsh realities of life.

[Donna Marie Gray]

I love the Cat & Mouse Games! Very enjoyable read. I'm new here and kind of looking around at other writer's work. I'll be sure to drop in from time to time.

[Jamie R. Robillard Sr.]

Thank you Donna, I'll be sure to check out your work. I am new here myself and have just posted my work today.