To Be Cherished Or Possessed?

An Essay, not a story.

I read someone's status today that really caused me to ponder the way I think regarding philosophy and romance. Though I am obviously more noted for my thoughts on the former than the latter. Being a self proclaimed poet I do know a bit more about the latter than what might be apparent to the casual observer.

 

Though I will be discussing the semantics of this statement I will refrain from getting into a discussion on semantics, which is addressed in my essay: Words, The most confusing of all things...

 

The statement I am referring to is "Tired of living this life alone I want to find someone to call my own."  by Jesse Cournoyer . I can fully appreciate the sentiment of these words. Without suffering a discussion on social disorders or abnormal psychology, Isn't it common that a person would want to be loved and to have someone to love? I find this to be the case in my perception of reality.

 

My focus here is on the single word own. It is not uncommon for a poet or philosopher to use this word or a synonym there of to express love, or affection. I have actually done so myself in some of my poems, something you have already noted if you have read the ones I have posted here.

 

In poetical syntax the word own rhymes with alone, and has been used sufficiently in previous artistic expression to warrant that its use in this statement has the intention of romance not obsession. So I personally am not going to question Jesse's character or use of it, lest I damned myself in any case.

 

Whether we like it or not we are some what a product of our environment, this is not to say we must be a victim of it, at least in so much of it as we find no reason to challenge. Today I find myself challenging the notion that ownership or possession is a form of romance, or even an illusion toward compassion.

 

As any feminist would make you keenly aware of. For quite some time women have been thought of as possessions, rather than being respected as the individual human beings that they are. I find sufficient evidence in history to support this line of thought to be true. Though feminists might be reluctant to also state, that it has not just been the male agenda that from their perspective is to dominate the world, but also the values passed on to sons' from their own mothers. That has manifested this value system.

 

I was brought up, as many where of my generation and those before us, with the ideology that I should seek in life an education, a good job, a good wife and a wonderful home to raise my children in. Has it escaped anyone else that a good wife in this list is no more than an artifact, a possession or an accomplishment to be recognized. Perhaps it is the affliction that it is also  common place to attribute children as possessions rather than human beings with feelings and ideas that deserve to be respected that would cause a mother to imply that such an awkward value system could be justified to their own sons?

 

I am not challenging a mother's love for their children nor am I challenging the notion that we can love what we own. I am just thinking that I would rather be loved then owned, cherished vs possessed. We can bend words to mean virtually anything that we want them to mean through inflictions of metaphors, sarcasm, idioms and through expressions or artistic value beyond what us the lay person really understand, or so I am told. I assure you though, a rose by any name will smell as sweet and manure by any name stinks.

 

I am not going to revise my poems, nor do I suggest that anyone else attempt to rewrite there lives. I will however take much greater note in how I view what is mine by ownership and what is bestowed on me by mutual love. That which I do not own, but yet is the greatest part of me. Such as my family and friends, such is my life.

Reviews

[Sophy Freebirds]

Possession- you had me here with this word... As we are in this 21st century we claim to be fair and modern.. i liked the way you raised this issue that woman- are not only possessions. They need to be cherished. I am a feminist. I do hate alpha males and their caveman tactics. I also liked the way you jumped into the depth of this word. You dug deep and took out the state of mind. Well done!!

~Sophy

[Jamie R. Robillard Sr.]

I try to abstract terms , phrase, and words in the same light that the Greeks abstracted numbers in mathematics. Abandoning the notion set for 4,000 years by the Egyptians and Babylonians that math should be merely Empirical. To me art is when I can share a part of what is me with someone who is not me. For them to find that my feelings reside in them as well. This can be a challenge if we ourself just throw around words with no regard for what We Mean By Them in earnest. I find that your work has the qualities I look for in art. Thanks for your kind words.

[Sophy Freebirds]

Some people write to gain attention,the real ones to express emotions.. Yes you go to the depth,i liked it too :) thank you so much. It was nice knowing you