Avoidence

In the dark forest of sorrow

She's hiding from me

I can't find her

I'm waiting

But you never show

 

She's behind the curtain of certain pain

And I'm sitting in the audience

Waiting for her grand performance

But she never came out

 

She's always silent

Never speaks with me

I want to hear her

To hear her voice..

But she never speaks

 

I'll keep waiting

I'm waiting for her

to show herself

to come out

to speak

I'm waiting

Reviews

[underwriter]

nice write! the metre is good and i like the free form! nice write!

first line *forest.
just a typo i imagine.
this is really great.
you really know how to describe the unreachable connection with another.

my advice, take it easy on the gloomy first line.
i kind of sounds like your getting into something completely different.

for the most part great work. [:

__em

[Michael X]

This is a Great poem that executes without punctuation, its very nicely imagined,
a couple little things, like forest-forrest, the idea is well written so its
easy to find the threads, and the flow was awsome .. it caught me right here,
I'll keep waiting
I'm waiting for you to.......the "to", could be dropped and placed on the next line
to show yourself
to come out
to speak
I'm waiting

one other thing that I felt couldve lent impact is the opening sentence,
and most important is opening and closing..
You (always in) the dark forrest of death and sorrow....
"always in" what about inhabite"... you get the idea,
this poem excels and is great, and has phemomonal potential.

[~angelalala~]

i love this poem. its dark, mysterious. there's always that person who you want to get to know but never can. the unreachable. the words are beautiful. the flow smooth as silk. wonderful read.