Heart Broken...

Passed Away...

Heart Broken...

My heart is broken,
My thoughts are ambushed with
overloaded emotions and guilt.

I need gorilla grip to hold it together
and a steel shield to block the onslaught
of overwhelming painful thoughts.

I want to turn back time to fix what is broken,
unfortunately life doesn't work that way and the
damage is done.

Time goes on, while I stand still dwelling in pain.
I am on the brink of chaos!!!

I want to die in the arms of the lord,
like my little brother died in mine.

I was never there when he needed me
and this time was no different.

I was never his hero,
instead he was mine.

Cal-gone take me away,
I'm in extreme pain and the guilt is tearing me
apart, like a pack of wolves feasting on there prey.

I am angry,
I have yet again failed him,
I am lonely,
I am miserable,
I am dying inside,
I am heart broken!

Author's Note

My brother passed away 5/20/16
R.I.P GRW I♥U!!!
All glory to God...

Reviews

[Sapientiam]

I'm so sorry for your lost, though, I know you may have heard it a lot... You know, my twin sibling died years ago. So young and the death was unexpected. Because we were identical, I felt as if half of my soul had perished as well. Well, technically that would be right... But, I understand how that lingering pain can just eat away more and more until there is nothing but hollowness. I don't even know why I moved on. Yet, it is these types of things that ought to make us stronger. Of course there is guilt, but we cannot hold on to the past. They are nothing but burdens. We have a choice whether to become destroyed by our circumstances or let it refine us so that we can lead much better, joyful lives. No matter how broken you get, Just remember that the Lord knows your pain.

[Jamestown]

Thanks for checking it out and your kind words, b-blessed!

[Jimmy Yetts]

Heartrending! An unspeakable tragedy.
The depth of your love for Cal is profound and obvious--as is the depth of your grief.
Hopefully, by now, you've known some small consolation.
Devastating piece, Jamestown.

[Jamestown]

Thanks for checking it out and b-blessed!

[Karmee]

Such a sad write, I can feel the emotions through out

[Jamestown]

Thanks for checking it out and b-blessed!

[Robert Haigh]

Such a sad and terrible loss. Your pain is evident in this heartfelt poem. Life can be cruel and unfair, and grief is part of the cost we have to pay. Thank you for sharing. I wish you well.

[Jamestown]

Thanks for checking it out and b-blessed r

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

That must have been tragic your brother dying in your arms.
Cant even begin to imagine wat you are going through.
I am sorry for your loss.

This poem is indeed heartbreaking to read. It is filled with depth and is flooded with emotion.
Your pretty strong to tell the world sumthing so deep and personal write it down for all of us to see.
Then again maybe being so open and honest is easy for you like it is for me.
I loved this poem. Though i do hope you are ok.
Keep writing always.

[Jamestown]

Thanks again, still dealing with it the best I can:)
B-blessed!

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Your welcome :)

[Papaya]

I'm very sorry for your loss. We experience anger, rage and pain when a loved one is taken away too soon.
Especially at a young age. I don't know that the peace ever comes, maybe acceptance. Maybe for you it will be different and you will make sense of it. The poem is very moving.

[Jamestown]

Thanks for checking it out and b-blessed!

[Papaya]

You're welcome.

[V]

Sad content, I am sorry yet I'm glad that you found a way to express what's inside of you, to let it go, I hope that was easing at least a little. I know about loss and your writing is sincere, honest. Raw in the sense of true emotional burst outs.

[Jamestown]

Thanks for checking it out and b-blessed!

[V]

You're welcome. You, too.

[sinNsincerity]

Don't let his name die in vein James, It's up to you to be there for those who are still here.
You're a great person and now he knows how you truly feel.
That pain will never go away, we just have to learn how to deal with it day by day.
God bless you and your family.

[Jamestown]

Thanks for checking it out and your kind words,
coming from you means so much:)
Thanks and b-blessed!

[sinNsincerity]

Of course James, you still have this brother and the other's God will place in our lives. Stay strong!

[J. K. Beach]

Words fail me in the face of such emotion. That you've been able to write anything at all is a testament to the strength that God gives us all... even when we think we haven't been granted any. Be well and write again...

[Jamestown]

Thanks for checking it out:) b-blessed!

[Valentine]

Having lost parents, husband, and siblings to the Grim Reaper, I feel for you. Valentine

[Jamestown]

Thanks for checking it out and b-blessed!

[Patricia Wedel]

dear poet... Your brother knows you love him...
We will all pass through that valley... Our Spirit lives on..
Someday we will be an Angel and guide others...
truly, Pat Thanks for sharing your heart and soul... Amen

[Jamestown]

Thanks for checking it out and b-blessed!