Butterflies

Triumphant life...

Butterflies...

Oh beautiful butterfly please don't fly away,
can't you stay, I want a few kisses that will
be turned into wishes,

I want to fly with you,
l want to see what you see
I want to fly higher then the trees
Oh beautiful butterfly won't you come back please,

At birth a caterpillar crawling on ground
taking forever to get around,
just moving a hundred feet probably seemed
like town to town,

Now grown up adults they fly with ease,
using freedom under their wings a nice
calm breeze,

Before getting those freedom wings,
they had to go through hell and back
you better believe,

And before we get ours
so will we...

Reviews

[Willard Wells]

I won't spent a long time on this since it is beautiful and many have said this too you. I had one question and please understand I don't know all the nuances of all forms of poetry or most for that matter, i just put my words down and hope in the end it makes some since. Yours have thought out words and phrases done beautiful.

Now the question, in the "I want to fly higher then the trees" to me it would be "than", but I can also feel and see "then". With all the highly skilled people that have already reviewed this I expect that was what you wanted, so consider this a naive question from a newbie. :)

[Jamestown]

You are correct, thanks for checking it out and your helpful hints!
Thanks for checking it out and b-blessed!

[Willard Wells]

Forgive me but I wanted to say that as I left your piece, I flashed on Joyce Kilmer's poem "Trees" and was thinking how your expression of butterflies captured the feel of the other poem. Again very nice.

[613]

Butterflies are magnificent creatures; first, starting out as caterpillars who have a ton of tiny little legs, eating plants. Then one day, they wrap themselves up in a cocoon where they undergo the world's most awesome transformation - turning into a beautiful butterfly who pollinates flowers! Two separate beings, two different identities - yet all in the same body. It's incredible to see something go from one thing to another. That's what this poem showed me; transforming oneself into something better, greater. Although there's nothing wrong with being a caterpillar - stuck on the ground doing the same thing, there's something even more stellar about changing into a beautiful, flying butterfly ready to take on the world. This is a parallel to my life.

This poem was written well. Nice job.

- Brittney

[Jamestown]

Thanks for checking it out and your kind review, b-blessed!

[613]

No problem.

[Relic]

Ye, there are comparisons to be made aren't there. Butterflies are a beautiful thing to behold. If only we could see life through their eyes. Nicely done.

[Jamestown]

Thanks for checking it out and b-blessed!

[Ashadan]

Before getting those freedom wings,
they had to go through hell and back
you better believe,

And before we get ours
so will we...


this poem also ended up well. I appreciate the beauty within this imaginative and creative poem ^_^

[Jamestown]

Thanks for checking it out and your kind review, b-blessed!

[Ishita Dixit]

Who doesn't love butterflies?
They teach us endurance.
They instill passion in us.
Our urge to achieve gets fuelled when we see them fly!
You penned down all these thoughts beautifully James!
Nicely done!

[Jamestown]

I agree fully, thanks for checking it out and b-blessed!

[modtoddinc]

Nice job, great poem. Butterflies always remind me of my long, late grandmother... Monarchs attended her interment ceremony and the feeling of her souls freedom was absolutely present; she lived through The Great Depression and many, many trials and tribulations. I enjoyed your poem very much as it encompasses this memory metaphorically.

~Peace, Todd

[Jamestown]

Thanks for checking it out and b-blessed!

[ANTO]

I never thought.. I mean really thought, about the difficulties the butterfly faced through its stages as much as i have after reading this and its magical the way it translates into each and every one of our own lives and our own trials and tribulations.
You're a master story-teller JT.
Superb!
:)

[Jamestown]

Thanks for checking it out and your kind review, b-blessed!

[Lavender Soya]

Truly, butterflies are interesting creatures. Seeing them transforming so beautifully is quite amazing! Great job! :-)

[Jamestown]

Thanks for checking it out and b-blessed!

[Lavender Soya]

You're welcome. :-)

[SAIF ALI]

The actual beauty can't be achieved without struggle and effort. The butterfly i think (metaphorically) all those who entice the human mind. Guide me if i am wrong.
-thank you for sharing this beautiful poetry.

[Jamestown]

On the money, thanks for checking it out and b-blessed!

[Deepika]

Wow! Beautiful work. I love butterflies and sometime back had a thought of writing on them. I'm sure it would be nowhere close to this..it's brilliant!
This line is too cute-"l want to see what you see "

[Jamestown]

Thanks for checking it out and please do write something out these beautiful
and courageous little insects, I would be delighted to read your perspective
you are so talented, thanks again and b-blessed!

[Deepika]

Will give a try, but certainly can't be better than this! Thanks James :)