The sight of her unmatched beauty, causes my emotions
to trigger feelings of an untamed wild cat, ready to pounce,
an automatic heighten sense of awareness, fluttering heart rate,
and an overwhelming warmth that cascades throughout my body,
as if I'm poolside at the country club,
With ever eluding fantasies dancing around my head like,
Fred Astaire, performing Broadway,
The wonderful imagery of running my fingers through her,
Gorgeous brown hair and fondling her glorious angelic frame,
chasing one another around my skull,
Enough is enough, today I will approach her,
right now, I will casually slide over and in a bold attempt,
introduce myself, and tonight we will take on the big city, and
let fate play out like the New York City Philharmonic...
This is a very typical personality of an introvert. You will always be hard on yourself while speaking to your crush. The music is in the head but hard to express
I liked the poem. I like the thoughts and the want in the words.
"Enough is enough, today I will approach her,
right now, I will casually slide over and in a bold attempt,
introduce myself, and tonight we will take on the big city, and
let fate play out like the New York City Philharmonic..."
Sometime we must be brave. If we are lucky. The special person is waiting for us to request a date. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote
this read like a story quite well.. it highlighted those thoughts, those doubts, that decision to take that chance, and the wanderings of imagination if succeeded.. if I can offer a few suggestions (just my opinion) that I feel would help with flow..
"The sight of her unmatched beauty, causes my emotions
to trigger feelings of an untamed wild cat, ready to pounce,
an automatic heighten sense of awareness, fluttering heart rate,
and an overwhelming warmth that cascades throughout my body,
as if I'm poolside at the country club,"........
would use "heightened" instead of heighten here..
and "warmth that cascades" would maybe change to "warmth cascading"
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Thanks feedback great and will definitely edit, thanks again, PTL!
utterly romantic, & endearing...not to mention, a well crafted
poem. leaves one with a sigh. thank u for sharing (:
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Thanks a lot! I was with my lady friend today and we were looking over some of your
work. She .. read moreThanks a lot! I was with my lady friend today and we were looking over some of your
work. She has a dark side and enjoys reading such, so thx again.
9 Years Ago
your v. welcome, James...and thank you...my stuff consists of
nonsensical ramblings, but I tru.. read moreyour v. welcome, James...and thank you...my stuff consists of
nonsensical ramblings, but I truly appreciate your kind words (: