Save the Broken Pieces for Me

I took a swing at a fine crystal vase

with a cracked bat

It didn't break

but the bat did

it shattered like a window tossed from a two story building

slivers of hickory wood like shards of glass

covered the floors 

so you couldn't walk without feeling my pain

I tried to sweep them with a broom

and I heard you say

save the broken pieces for me.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

The opening comes across like a face slap -- the juxtaposition of what broke & what didn't -- reminds me of how those who go around beating up on people as their answer to fixing issues may think they're enjoying a moment of power & victory, but in the end, they lose. The image painted in the last 3 lines of V1 is spectacular writing, that final line slays! I also like the 3-line ending, but that finish of V1 is so powerful, that's the climax of this poem for me (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[James]

Thanks, I love your view of this poem. I was really just messing around and feeling a little bit down when I wrote it. It's not based on any incident, but I think we all feel bad when we lash out at someone and we know it hurt them.

[Papaya]

Possibly I am over interpreting so I'll say, I like it.
And how true so often we sweep up and dispose of broken things rather than try to mend.
Good stuff.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this window into a relationship expresses the angst two people are feeling towards each other.
It becomes semi-violent...as they try to exorcise the demons in their relationship.
and then...as he decides to sweep up the mess he has made with his temper, they reach a sort of accord, a common ground as she lets him know that she is broken as well.
wonderful metaphor here.
j.