The Stalker

Nobody came when I came and knocked

not the first or second time.

So I walked back home a broken soul

and paced the floors inside.

I called your number on every hour 

and several times between.

But no one ever answered the phone

it just ringed and ringed and ringed.

I wrote you a letter and mailed it myself

I sent it certified.

It came back undeliverable 

my letter was still inside.

So I carried it myself and put it in your box

and hid in the bushes for you.

But some man grabbed me 

and pulled me away

he was dressed all over in blue.

The very next day I got a letter

it said to stay away.

It was from the office of district court;

a warning I better obey.

Well, I know that there must have been some mistake

I know you all too well.

But when I tried to climb through your window

they threw me into this cell.

I spend the hours with nothing to do

Just writing these letters each day

And dreaming if the time I can see you again,

I know I'll remember the way.

So wait for me now, I know that you will,

I won't be long, I'm sure. 

For now, I'll wait inside this cage

With nothing but time to kill

Author's Note

I know that "ringed and ringed and ringed" isn't grammatically correct, but I can't help myself. This a revised version.

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, creepily funny in a way...but we surely can become obsessed with someone who is not so obsessed with us.

at first the "ringed and ringed" bothered me because i wanted to change it to "it just rang and rang and rang"

but somehow the grammatical awkwardness there helps to reinforce the idea of the awkwardness of the situation.

j.

[James]

Actually, it was "rang and rang and rang" when I wrote it. I changed it because I thought it added some humor and helped it flow. I figured that all the English teachers would have a hard time with it. I've also deleted an entire stanza because it was too creepy.

[AliciaB]

Wow. This is quite an interesting poem. Not what I was expecting based on the title - I had no idea this would be from the perspective of the stalker him/herself. But in saying that, I am glad that you took on this persona in writing this. It is a unique voice, and I can't help but feel a little sympathy for the stalker in reading this poem. The line "So I walked back home a broken soul" and the stanza about the letter evoke this particularly well. This doesn't seem like the voice of a person who is being intentionally creepy - it sounds like someone who has very strong feelings for another, who is perhaps a little mentally unstable, and who does not understand that his or her actions are unacceptable. Very thought-provoking overall. Nice work!

[barleygirl]

Yes, I definitely loved the whimsy of "ringed & ringed & ringed" . . . Being from the stalker's point of view, this is a much milder version of things, I daresay. It feels matter-of-fact, as the stalker might relate things, rather than terrorizing, as the victim may describe this. Interesting distinction. I always love seeing a writer play with points of view.

[M.R.Cuff]

I like that you chose the stalkers' point of view, and I love the "ringed and ringed" even though I am a bit of a grammer nazi I agree that it adds to the poem. I think it's neat how you have the character seem oblivious to his stalking being wrong, I think sometimes that is how stalkers feel, and it sort of gives the character a kind of innocence in it all. Love it.

M.R.Cuff

[James]

I'm glad you liked it, I meant it to be a little creepy and I agree with you, I think most of them have no idea what they are doing. Still need to be put away though.

[Lydia Shutter]

A little eerie. As someone who has been the victim of a stalker, I can tell you, the stalker SHOULD be in jail. The rhythm and rhyming is excellent in this one, James. Lydi**

[James]

I agree with you 100%. It was a little eerie writing this too. And I kind of know how you feel, we (my wife) had a problem with a gas man about 15 years ago. He kept coming back to the house when I wasn't there and my wife was alone, even after we had called the company and the police, we found him one day hiding in our basement and that was the LAST time. He went to jail after that. My wife was freaked out for a long time after that experience.

[Lydia Shutter]

How horrible! Thank goodness he did not harm your wife physically.

[Papaya]

Funny, but not funny too.

[James]

It's meant to be both. I think I'm going to take the last stanza out.

[Papaya]

That's up to you, I figured it was meant to be both and reads just fine.

[Shannon]

Brilliant or creepy? Both.
The voice is realistic. So confident in twisted logic. Stated so simply.

[James]

It's creepy and I meant it that way, but I think I will take the last stanza off

[Shannon]

Does it go too far for you?

[James]

Not too far for me I was just writing a story with a bit of warning. I just don't think it fits smoothly and maybe it creeps people out a little too much, that's not what I'm about.

[Shannon]

I say go with your gut! I sort of got a chill from the ending, but maybe it might make other people seriously creep out, especially if they have this type of experience.

[Shannon]

Oh, late in the game idea. Try removing last two lines. And reworking what will then be your last two lines to fit your rhyming scheme? All ideas are only ideas. No worries if don't work for you.

[James]

Might give that a go. Thanks.