I had a lovely friend in India who will never marry because she won't be someone's "chattel".
Is cruel, the world has given you; no peace you find under its dome. Bound to a land that values not, your beauty and service to your home.
In a caste, you live but not your own; in poverty and servitude, you were born. Your spirit is free and your heart is pure but for love, you can only mourn.
So where are you now, my love so far I'll rush to you in haste to feel your skin against my breast -- feel the softness of your face.
I see you now when I close my eyes, in a crumbling tower of stone. Your words carry soft upon the breeze but your life can never be your own.
You can pace the floors of your castle home and in the poppy fields, you can sing. You can dream of a life that's far away -- under the guard of your Fisher King.
I would take you far away from there, to a place, that's lush and green. Where the bonds of your birth matter not and you will live your life as a queen.
But you gave a pledge to your family to honor them till death. So I will wait to see you, my love, until I take my final breath.
The romantic longing in this incredible poem is palpable. What beautiful imagery you employ. Such loving emotions! Some people are not permitted to be with the ones they choose and if they are loyal to their family and their religion, that is the way it has to be. Bittersweet, James. Fantastic rhyming and rhythm. Lydi**
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Thank you so much. I was thinking about someone I used to know (not a love interest), but she lives.. read moreThank you so much. I was thinking about someone I used to know (not a love interest), but she lives in India and will never marry because she can't be with who she wants (very traditional Hindu). She sent me a picture once of a King Fisher outside her window and it kind of stuck in my head.
8 Years Ago
It's wonderful how people we meet in line can inspire us.
The longing of a love that you cannot get due to social customs or parent pressure can be devastating. You have captured those emotions beautifully.
Good work
I'm usually not that much into rhyming pieces though I like the tone of this tone, the longing for an impossible love or maybe just feel compassion for someone you're so fond of.
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
I'm glad you stopped to read this rhyming piece. I hope you enjoyed it.
8 Years Ago
I did. Your writing was in my newsfeed. You're welcome.
There is love and longing in this poem, also patience and understanding.
It's sad to be bound by such things, we take so much for granted sometimes.
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Yes, we do. This is about a good friend of mine, who will never know what it's like to spend her li.. read moreYes, we do. This is about a good friend of mine, who will never know what it's like to spend her life with someone she loves.
8 Years Ago
I hope she finds moments of happiness that will carry her through in her life.
I have often wondered what it must be like to be bound by family ties or traditions you don't wish to follow. This poem really shows an understanding of two very different ways of life - a sad poem of a love that will never blossom into anything more than fond and respectful thoughts :)
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
yea, that's the sad part. She is actually a real person (not a love interest at any time), just a f.. read moreyea, that's the sad part. She is actually a real person (not a love interest at any time), just a friend I think about from time to time. She will always be alone because of her religion and her respect for her family. But I admire her courage to live like she does.
8 Years Ago
Yes - that would take amazing courage - so nice of you to write this for her (kinda) :)
I love the way you empathize with the situation of someone who's in a totally different culture, with restrictions we can barely fathom in our taken-for-granted freedom. This is a huge reminder for us to be thankful for our own society, despite its rough edges. Even tho you express everything with tenderness & grace, it does feel a little bit like two cultures crashing here. You are offering your friend what you want to experience with her (your terms), but I'm missing the part where she has a voice about what she wants for her own life (her terms). I know your viewpoint comes from a place of true caring, but to me, it can also feel like another form of oppression. Thank you for understanding my contrary viewpoint.
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Interesting take on this. In this situation, all the writer has is his wants and his perspective. .. read moreInteresting take on this. In this situation, all the writer has is his wants and his perspective. A little background, it's kind of a true story (not a love interest of mine just a friend) She lives in a very conservative Hindu family and is not allowed to marry who she wants, so she refuses to marry and be someone's "chattel" as she calls it. What she really wants is the freedom to love who she wants and choose her own future, but she will not go against her family and their beliefs.
However, if she truly shared their beliefs and taking her away from that and into their culture would be oppressive.
8 Years Ago
Even tho I appreciate that you've taken the time to give me this back story (& I'm interested), your.. read moreEven tho I appreciate that you've taken the time to give me this back story (& I'm interested), your poem is very clear & understandable about all these cultural details, too. Being a dyed-in-the-feather freebird, I just don't like it when a man wants to fix me by applying his own desires to my life as "the answer."