Three Fishing Poles

Little boy with a fishing pole

not a care in the world he knows where to go;

down to the river to a little hidden cove

perfect for catfishing and a great swimming hole.

He’s careful who he tells, just a few friends

sharing his secret before summer ends.

He has to sneak past the house next door,

no girls allowed that’s the pact they all swore.

In a just a few years he’ll change his mind,

alone with a girl, he’ll leave his friends behind.

Maybe he’ll take Clair, or her big sis, Stacy,

Little Becky Reese, or Ben’s cousin Tracy.

This time is sure fun, but one day he’ll be grown

A mortgage, a job, two kids of his own

He can’t wait to show them his little cove

Holding their hands and three fishing poles.   

Reviews

[barleygirl]

Very creative poetic vignette, packed with details to make this unique & realistic. I don't much like the short lines, each starting with capitalization, making for a bit of a choppy read. But it's a very minor distraction, since your writing is fluid and full of imagery, as always.

[James]

Thank you for the critique. I'll play with it a little, try to give it a more storytelling rhythm.

[James]

A litter more like a story. Better?

[barleygirl]

Excellent! Much, much better! I love this story & what it alludes to in the ending statement.

[Kathy Van Kurin]

'Three Fishing Poles'
James,
It's nice to read a carefree writing such as this. There is enough seriousness in this life. Thankyou for placing a kind and sentimental poem which lifts one's spirit. Sitting by a river in the sunshine waiting for a fish, listening to the breeze. I appreciated how it gently brought the mind to the future as well. The future flows too.
Bless you.
Kathy

[jacob erin-cilberto]

a really nice story poem...creatively fashioned from childhood, to grown-uphood with children---

three eras, three children to match...

a fun one...

reminds me of fishing with my dad, and a couple spots we had that we thought of as our own.

[James]

Glad you liked it Jacob. Thank you.

[Woody]

history repeats itself. a sweet and tender poem. your writes are very endearing James. I look between the lines of your poems and glimpse a good man and probably a great father.

[James]

Thank you, Woody. Most of the time I see the father I should be and hope I measure up.

[Shabeeh Haider]

This is a refreshing write. A young boy enjoying fishing and swimming with his friends and then relating how his life will change in the coming years. I like the imagery here.
I do think there is a good flow to it but why have you not rhymed the first four lines when the rest of the poem is in rhymes?

[James]

Thank you, I'm glad you liked it. Actually, this didn't start as a rhyming poem, but I wanted it to flow smoothly so I chose to use near rhymes so it wouldn't be forced. I've also changed the format a few times. The first posting was short lines but it seemed choppy. I'll keep working on it.