'A Road to Redemption'

A little trip off the beaten path.

Traffic backed up.  My morning drive.

My mind foggy and cluttered as I ride.

When a crazy thought entered my head

And off the main road, I turned instead

To travel down a strange and different route

And wondered at the road as it curved about.

Both lanes were lined with live and leafy trees

The world was a collage of dark browns and wild greens.

Sunlight creeping through the mossy mass

Danced and played behind each tree as I passed.

 

On and on, down the road, I drove

Until I stopped suddenly at a quiet abode.

An old farmhouse neatly hidden in the trees

Just waiting to be found by someone like me.

A tiny little place in great disrepair

Begging for someone to show a little care.

I couldn’t help but step away from my car

And stare in amazement from the road afar.

I walked closer through the tall damp grass

Past the rusty well pump and to the house at last.

 

With a heavy sigh, I took it all in. 

The rock foundation and the old wood bin

The white paint all of it chipped and faded

Left the old house wind-beaten and nearly naked,

Its once stout walls, now gray and old

Let in the rain, the wind and even the cold.

The old tin roof baked orange-red with rust

Bellowed and moaned with each wind gust.

The front porch creaked and bowed under my weight

But, for some reason, it didn’t sound like a complaint.

 

As I stood on the porch I summoned my strength

And dared to go inside to have a quick peek.

The old brass knob gave easily with a twist

Releasing the latch with a loud metallic click.

The wooden front door slid open with grace

While a puff of stale dust hit me square in the face.

It opened to a room large and nearly bare

Except for a framed picture above an old rocking chair.

A few quick steps took me across the bare room

To that picture covered in dirt and a little bit of gloom.

 

A quick wipe with the sleeve of my shirt

Cleared the glass cover and removed the dirt.

The picture couldn’t have shown a happier sight,

A tidy little family posing in the clear sunlight.

A simple sight from a simpler time

Brought feelings of nostalgia and a tear to my eye.

With one final glance, I hung the picture back on the wall

And turned and walked down a short narrow hall

That led to a door that led outside.

And I found myself staring at this farm's greatest pride.

A grand orchard of apples and pear;

Not overgrown but tended with care.

The grass neatly trimmed around each tree

And a large Live Oak holding a swaying tire swing.

It was all encased inside a white wooden fence

Lined with wildflowers lush and dense.

But there was no sign of people, no sound but the breeze,

No squirrels in the trees, no birds, and no bees.

Nothing in this scene felt quite right

But, for some strange reason, I felt calm not fright.

 

Though I wanted to stay I knew I didn’t belong,

In this little orchard planted by a family now gone.

I walked back to the house and down the narrow hall.

And took one last look at the picture hanging on the wall.

I stared at the faces of the family in the scene

And smiled when I replaced it wiped fresh and clean.

I walked back to the door and breathed the fresh air

And turned one more time and saw the rocking chair

I stared for a moment barely believing my eyes

The chair was rocking back and forth in rhythmic time.

 

I watched for a moment and felt a calming peace,

All of my stress and worry, a sudden release.

Overcome with emotion there at the door

I cried for no reason and fell to the floor.

I felt hands on my shoulders and one on my head

I could hear their soft prayers for my soul they pled.

After a time, I stood and looked around

Inside and out they were nowhere to be found.

So back to my car I walked very slow

I started the engine and drove back home.

Author's Note

Thanks for reading.

Reviews

[Carolynn]

Oh I just loved this story from start to finish, it kept me so interested the entire way through - what a fantastic story teller you are :) I love the end, to me it was angels with you - not ghosts - it felt too warm - and for me it was the angels tending the field in the absence (death) of the family - so I may have went in a different direction but I loved it :)

[James]

Not a different direction at all. I purposely never said ghosts, spirits or angels, I wanted to leave it to the readers. I really like the idea that it was angels too. Praying over the man when he needed help and guidance.

I am really glad you enjoyed it.

[barleygirl]

I'll tell you the truth. Most of the time I have to brace myself before starting a long epic poem like this. But it wasn't necessary here! There isn't a single spot where my eyes glazed over, not even briefly! Wow! You managed to make every single line come alive with interest, surprise, & originality! I could visualize everything described with such clarity & simplicity. The rhyming & rhythm worked well for this type of read. The writing is top-notch & the message is stellar & imaginative, altho totally real life. A total pleasure to take this little side trip with you.

[James]

Wow, thanks so much. I am really glad you liked this. I knew the length would turn a lot of people away, but I just couldn't stop. Thank you for such a wonderful review.

[Lydia Shutter]

A bittersweet story.....James, this could be a screenplay for a movie! I could picture it all. The farmhouse, the orchard, the photo of the family....and the deep spirituality you felt being there. The emotions are powerful and there is almost a mystical feel to the last stanza. Did the ghosts of those who lived there feel your presence as you felt theirs? Were they telling you it was okay to be there? Just so lovely....and the rhyming is flawless. Fantastic write. Lydi**
PS....did you ever make it to work? :)

[James]

Work? No, turned around and went home. Thank you for this wonderful review. I am thrilled that you could picture the scene, makes my day.

[J. J. Nightingale]

Wow..what an adventure ..
I did enjoy reading with ease .. (large font)..
As Emma wrote, Each stanza a scene .. and I am there..

Well done...

Jazz

[James]

Thank you so much. I was worried that it is too long. I'm glad you could feel like you were there, that's the best compliment anyone can get.
Thanks again.

[J. J. Nightingale]

You are welcome...............................J.

[emmajoy]

' Both lanes were lined with live and leafy trees - The world was a collage of dark browns and wild greens. - Sunlight creeping through the mossy mass - Danced and played behind each tree as I passed.'

Those four lines create such peaceful thoughts I suspected something positive was about to happen... for me, those words stand alone as the core of your writing. Each stanza is a scene, each scene holds a emotion and to the final one, tis just... breathtakingly beautiful.

(have corrected the typo, so sorry)

[James]

Wow, what a compliment. I am so glad you liked it and took the time to read it, I was worried that it was too long.

[emmajoy]

It is long, yes, but when a post is displayed in easily read font and the content grabs a reader.. you can't lose.. or that's what i hope!!!

[Woody]

brilliant, James. love it. this is in the same vein as David aget's poems. I think you know him. for me he's the absolute master here.
back to your poem. you have a great talent to tell a gripping tale in verse. the subject matter you chose grabs the attention of the reader. you may have struggled with a few rhymes, though.
great job, anyway.

[James]

Thank you, Woody, I'm glad you enjoyed it. It is hard to keep meter and rhyme throughout something this long, I will try to fix it, and I appreciate your honest criticism. I was afraid it was too long, but just couldn't stop.

[Woody]

I know what you mean, James. you have to get the meter and rhythm just right. not being a real poet myself, I sacrifice everything for the rhyme :(

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

This had so many elements to it...the turn off the regular path, exploration, discovery, nostalgia and the added twist of a friendly ghosts. Very different and enjoyable. Nicely done! :)

[James]

I'm glad you enjoyed. I was afraid it was too long. It's not what I started out to write, but this is what came out. Thanks for reading and commenting.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i love ghost stories....and especially exploring old abandoned buildings, imagining the life they once held...you took me exploring...

j.

[James]

I know it was a little long, thanks for sticking it out. This was not the story I set out to write, but with me it really is. I hope it was enjoyable.

[Ink Seductress]

I enjoyed this a lot. Beautifully penned.

[James]

Thank you, I'm so glad you liked it.