'The Lovely Girl"

Two brothers blood and bone

Always together, never alone.

Set out one day to trap and play

Met a young maiden along their way.

She was beautiful that was for sure.

A lovely sight, innocent and pure.

The brothers at once began to court

And soon forgot their youthful sport.

They fought and quarreled for her affection

Plotted and schemed without objection.

Until one day she became one's wife

And sent the other away to live his life.

The brothers lives were never the same.  

They didn’t hunt and never played.

One lived a life of quiet contemplation

The other of  misery and aggravation.

The lovely girl they thought they knew

Grew into a mean old shrew.

Author's Note

Thanks for reading. Tell me what you think.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

This is a great thought-provoking story. Some might read a lesson of not forsaking family for some elusive "love" . . . or it could be the possible lesson of putting oneself & feelings first in life. Either way, I think this happens all the time, not just brothers, but friends. Your expression of the situation is clear & straightforward, with the last 2 lines being the most hard-hitting message. Altho not mentioned, one feels the regret long after finishing this tale.

[James]

Thanks, it started out as a fun piece, but once again I couldn't pull it off. Had to take the serious route. Glad you enjoyed it. It is absolutely about forsaking family and my current theme of choices and their consequences.

[Kathy Van Kurin]

"The Lovely girl"
James,
In a situation where a lovely young women is courted by two brothers who compete for her hand I wonder what it would be like from her point of view? Confusing, an honor, scary, or nice to be sought this way? As a young person of marriageable age she was bound to choose someone eventually. Who knows having been in relationship with both brothers if she found that life had become difficult in the end. Life can be really hard for us all at times. Life does go on of course and the ending kind of made me sad to see a young lady become "a mean old shrew."
Blessings,
Kathy

[Woody]

like jacob, this reminded me of the Beatles. I remember reading, once, that it was the women that caused the Beatles to split. Pity!
your poem talks about something not uncommon, unfortunately.
nice one, James, with an unexpected ending.
in the first stanza, you say a young maiden and in the last you say "old". that suggests they met a witch :)
just like a fairy tale. a very good one, James.

[Carolynn]

Oh this was so witty and fun to read, really great rhythm to it and the story has a good message of how family shouldn't allow an outsider to cause division. Couldn't they both have just let the old shrew go lol :)

[James]

Thank you, Carolynn, I'm glad you liked it. I thought the same thing when I finished.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

for some reason i was picturing the Everly Brothers...and how they quarreled so much and hated each other, came on stage from opposite ends...what can split blood relatives apart? oh, yes, love...

and maybe that was her purpose all along...nothing thicker than the blood of family...but even that gets tested at times.

j.

[James]

And in the end, they all lost.

Thank you, Jacob, for reading and commenting.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i really like this poem, James...and your response reminded me of the Beatles..."and in the end, the love you save, is equal to the love you gave"

how is your weather there in Coastal? did you get bad storms?

[James]

I am glad you liked it. I always look forward to your reviews.

Weathers great, we had some rain yesterday, but today was 75 and sunny and it looks like fair sailing from here on.