"A Tortured Mind"

I am Torment, a tortured mind

Buried deep so none can find

A dragon breathes his fiery breath

The serpent rears its deceitful head

I pray to God to cure my ill

But deep inside I wish her still

Night is my savior

And Darkness my friend

My Sin is my yearning

And Time is my penance

My Heart is weak
It longs for the Dusk

Reviews

[Kathy Van Kurin]

James A.
"A tortured mind" is a very real nod to where our lives are processed and felt. We live out our decisions and then wonder was that right, did it have the desired result? Torment is a fitting theme for it explains what, where and how we can struggle and all within ourselves. "My sin is my yearning and time is my penance." You did well with this one..............Blessings .....Kathy

[James]

Wow, thanks. This was one of the first things I ever wrote back when I wasn't in a very good place. I had forgotten about it.

[Kathy Van Kurin]

I understand and it is good to forget sometimes...........where you've been to where you are now. That's grace.

[Einstein Noodle]

i am reminded of the migraines i use to get when in college (the first time) ...nothing to do but turn out the lights, curl up in a ball and suffer :(((
i like how you have started slow and built the emotion as a crescendo .. i think that is inspiring
E.

[James]

Oh, you dug up an oldie. One of the first things I ever wrote. Thanks for reading it.

[Einstein Noodle]

absolutely :).............

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

Ah...so you have a dragon, too.
"I pray to God to cure my ill
But deep inside I wish her still" this is so interesting to me. I think this can be read as "her" being a person, or just the "ill" itself. I'm reminded of a Nirvana line "I miss the comfort in being sad." In the strangest of ways I relate to that line...it can be so frightening to hope sometimes. Disappointment can sting as badly as betrayal. Oh, now you have me rambling again.

[James]

That's alright, I am a rambler too. Yes, I have a dragon and it's pure torment. It was one of those nights when I just couldn't turn my mind off.

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

I understand completely.

[Gaia Octavia]

Very nice piece. This tackles a torture many of us have felt and it tackles it well. You have some great imagery going on here as well as the feeling of personal penance that we all put ourselves through. Well done!

[James]

Thank you, it was one of those nights when I couldn't turn my mind off.

Thanks for reading and for commenting.

[barleygirl]

You've done a good job of coming up with a variety of ways to show us how tortured the mind can be. The dragon is an effective analogy. It feels like the narrator is hopping from one thing to another -- your poem doesn't take one idea & tease it out. Torment, Dragon, God, Night, Sin, Heart, Dusk . . . so many disparate ideas, but it works, becuz the tortured mind is not linear or logical.

[James]

All the emotions going on at one time makes for a long torturous night. The dragons breath for me represented lust and want. The serpent represents the deceiving feelings, the I know I shouldn't, but... Only God can end the pain inside, but we don't want to let go. Of course, there's the endless punishment of time and longing for dusk, well it means we want the heart-ache to end, but it never will. Thanks for reading and reviewing. I hope you enjoyed it.

[barleygirl]

Yes, I did enjoy it! I enjoy all your writing!

[Aventicus]

A fascinating piece. Guilt can become one's lover and bring her victim towards the haven of death.

[James]

yes, guilt can become like a lover and we her victims. I like the analogy.

Glad you read it and i hope you enjoyed it.

[Woody]

wow! is this the same mind that produced "night shadows"?
a nicely penned King-like write :)

[James]

Thanks, Woody, It was the same mind, perhaps not the same state of mind. Weird mood last night. I wasn't sure if would make sense to anyone else. I've gotta quit listening to sad piano music.