"Time in a Moment"

Give me an hour and I will give you my day

Give me a moment and I will give you eternity

Dream of me and I am yours 

Reviews

[Kathy Van Kurin]

James A.
The precious place of belonging just sings in your "Time in a Moment" Hold loosely the loved one with a quiet dignity that says "I want you in my life" This poem speaks volumes of the respect offered the loved one. The offer of your heart and the open hand holding it. No expectations but that is what shows a safe place for love to grow. Powerful one.............kathy

[James]

Thank you, so much. This was the first poem I ever wrote. I'm thrilled you liked it.

[Kathy Van Kurin]

Yup I did. It is so neat checking early writing. I found yours wonderful for sure..........

[Papaya]

this is so wonderful, love in its simplest form

[James]

Holy crap, that's the first poem I ever wrote...I still cringe at it..I made my wife a coffee mug with out picture and this poem on it for her birthday.

[Papaya]

really? that is so perfect! :)

[Einstein Noodle]

mmmmmmmmm should be a valentine's poem .. reminds me of:
https://youtu.be/dO1rMeYnOmM
i think it is as beautiful as your "Time in a Moment" .. i also think your time play is exciting .. as electric as ..... NOW! ... ;)
E.

[barleygirl]

I like the way you pick the perfect specifics to bring this message alive. Despite the few words, since they are well-selected & well-considered, this short write provokes a long tale in the reader's mind. Good job.

[James]

Thank you, it was my very first attempt

[Jordansobranie]

wonderful and fresh i like it

[Woody]

short but sweet as they say. my type of love. unconditional.

love this James.

[James B Wells]

I read this a couple times, and I have to say it just kept getting better. Simplicity that conveys meaning is a hard thing to pull off, but you did a good job here. I don't know what I can offer in terms of constructive criticism, other than that it doesn't escalate as much as it could because eternity and forever are very similar, but that's nitpicking at that point. Nice work!

[James B Wells]

Also, the commas in the first two lines are incorrect in terms of normal grammar. I don't know if that was intended to create a break for the reader at that specific point or not, but I thought I should mention it.

[James]

Thanks for this. I thought the very same thing and have been trying to think of a solution. This is my first try at poetry. Also, thank you for the comma help. I really know better, but never catch my own mistakes.

[James B Wells]

No worries. You should definitely continue to experiment with poetry in the future. If you enjoy it, of course.

[Jason Endfield]

A few words can convey so much emotion, this says so much in just three lines, understated and written with feeling.

[Cierra Nicole Aguilar]

it made me cry when I read this poem :( but good job