Spin Cycle

Concealment of character, guilt over hiding the real self behind deception and surface matters. A realization I had that induced severe panic in the laundromat. Wrote this after the valium took hold.

                              My life is reflected

                                  when I walk down the Aisle

                                          of the Laundromat.

          Solitary figure

               lugging in his washables,

                   Contorted freak-show reflects through

                           circular washer windows.

                       (The weight of my dirty laundry makes me ashamed)

                                  A life fitted wrongly

                             into articles of clothes

                    I would have never picked to wear,

             But that I wear well.

                       The cycle of dream-machine dryers.

                                 tumbling linens is comforting.

            And the smell of fabric softener

                  dulls any sharp feelings.

                     I thumb my silver change

                         down the slot

MAKE

    &

SPEND       

                  The various outfits my mistakes have worn

                 Begin to cycle .

    Dirty stains leeching from

                      a hodgepodge masquerade of outfits

                     ( that defined .me. for You,

                         that COVERED .me.

                         all the way up

                         and that I shed like

                         bitter skins of a soft cocoon )

            I have to chlorofoml

                these spinning thoughts

          with calming fabric softener

       a dryer sheet against my lips and nostrils

    helps me breath easy,

wraps my racing heart in gauze

          While stinging detergents slosh my sopping-rag,

                                  dirty sock

                                 INTENTIONS.

Author's Note

I wanted to make this shaped like a big O, or a circle, so that it appeared to cycle, the last line and first line being the line at the top of the poem.....but it's a rough draft and the conversion software here seems to really pick on me.

Reviews

[Baby Ricochet]

I like all the emotion in everyday life of your poems, least the one's I've read are like that. I picked a black chick up once at a laundry matt but that's beside the point I'm trying to make. Actually I have no idea what point I'm trying to make. Good poem..

[spiritwind]

James William Dyer, the mark of genius is the anility to take an everyday mundane task and turn it into something monumental ... love your work and feel honored that you share it with us... are you published yet? I would like to have a volume of your works to enjoy, to pick apart down to its bones to try to understand that huge talent of yours

[KAOlmsted]

Huh...I really liked this, please don't misunderstand, but I think I enjoyed the candid (not so candid *laugh*) conversation between you and Steven (below) just a wee bit more...The poem is outstanding, the dirty laundry representing guilt, the stained clothing that defines you, covers you...the calming scent of Bounce (not a joke, dude, it is one of those comfort smells, you know?) But the raw truth in the conversation below gave me more insight into the author than I ever got from even the most brutally frank of your poems...the metaphorical medicine cabinet? Holy s**t. If that is not the name of your next piece, I will personally apply my boot to your backside *laugh*

Don't sweat the formatting. Your work stands up without the gimmicks.

-kimmer

[Extant]

"The various outfits my mistakes have worn,"
Okay, where to start? Here, I guess. Firstly, it's just such an odd thought to think that we aren't ourselves when we error. I'd say that for some people it is true, and other's not so much.
Over all, this poem gently seeped into my skin. I connect absolutely to eveything felt and put forth.
For the format of the poem, I, in general, do not enjoy concrete poetry. So I would suggest against that idea.

[James William Dyer]

This is not concrete poetry, though. Concrete poetry focuses mostly on "shaping" the poem with words, for instance a poem about a penis might have the words arranged in such a way to make the entire poem look like a giant peepee. This is written in Visualism. Visualism uses the individual letters, their capitalization, italicization, purposeful misspellings, line breaks, spaces, syntactical grammatical marks, to contribute or enhance semantic aspects of the poetry. Visualism also maintains that a poem must be a connected series of sub Images that are all linked internally to an overall theme. To dismiss this style as "concrete poetry (believe me, I know what it is) is erroneous. Yes, it takes certain aspects of concrete poetry and employs them, but there is much more to this style. Another aspect to this style is that the rythm of the poem must be in sync, or contribute to, the underlying semantics. For instance, suppose you write a poem about the repetitive aspect of getting up, having coffee, going to work, coming home, smoking cigarettes, whatever it is you repeat day to day, you might want to create a rhythm structure that reflects that, and possibly a rhyme scheme that pounds that in. It's an evolving style, but much different than concrete poetry.

[Extant]

I didn't mean to offend, so please excuse my error. However, my original statement still stands.

[James William Dyer]

None taken whatsoever, I just explain things in a very long winded fashion. No one should ever worry about offending me. I don't have an ego...none, at all lol. It would be a terrible thing to take criticisms personal. And this style needs criticism.

[Poison Ivy]

wow! this is so creative!

[Jodie Ng]

I love the comparison you make to laundry/laundromat - really emphasizes your message. You take reality for what it is and you put it out there and you write in such a way that the readers can enjoy but also relate to it

[Lushan]

I know the experience of creating a poem in a particular shape and then seeing it come out on WC completely mangled! Otherwise, a beautiful poem of layers.

[Victoria PoetryBunny]

Whew... okay where to start. Nice simple title that explains the write well. I love how you write about your life being "reflected" as your at the Laundromat.
"My life is reflected
when I walk down the Aisle
of the Laundromat."
Next when you described yourself here:
"Solitary figure
lugging in his washables,"
I love how you wrote this by using "Solitary figure".
Same with this next part, I love the way you used the description "freak-show".
"Contorted freak-show reflects through
circular washer windows."
Your parentheses..."(The weight of my dirty laundry makes me ashamed)" I love this, such a unique thought about laundry and clothes with the feelings that they bring to you. So unique.
"A life fitted wrongly
into articles of clothes
I would have never picked to wear,
But that I wear well."
Oh... I am enjoying this write and it I am not even done reading it.
The way you described the clothes even more here, with clothes "I would have never picked to wear, But that I wear well." So nice... so understood about life and clothes, with how they include feelings about someone.
I love the way you used "dream-machine" to describe the dryers. The linens as "comforting" as they tumble. And the touch you put into this about the "smell of fabric softener" that... "dulls any sharp feelings". Such a great moment that is captured by you as you describe the actions of day to day stuff to people, so well.
"The cycle of dream-machine dryers.
tumbling linens is comforting.
And the smell of fabric softener
dulls any sharp feelings."
Continuing on...
"The various outfits my mistakes have worn
Begin to cycle."
I love how your action of beginning the clothes cycle continues the feelings of the clothes with "The carious outfits my mistakes have worn". I love that description.
I am lost in your words, they are so great, it's like I am at the laundry place watching you without you knowing I am there. Like a movie. Your imagery is so nice, so real, so unique.
Love your description here as well:
"Dirty stains leeching from
a hodgepodge masquerade of outfits"
"Covered" ... "shed" ... "cocoon"... I love how you use the words:
"that COVERED .me.
all the way up
and that I shed like
bitter skins of a soft cocoon )"
This ending... wow, what a ending. A wonderful ending.
" I have to chlorofoml
these spinning thoughts"
Such a emotion.
And the way you continue this emotion into a action.
"with calming fabric softener
a dryer sheet against my lips and nostrils
helps me breath easy,
wraps my racing heart in gauze"
I love how you used the capital letters, it gives such a feeling felt and powerful unique ending.
"While stinging detergents slosh my sopping-rag,
dirty sock
INTENTIONS."
Also the way you brought your clothes into the ending with the socks, and your description of "stinging detergents slosh my sopping-rag, dirty sock" so wonderfully captured.
As for your author's note, I understand the way the font and lettering works on this site for I have had my own troubles with structure as well. I love the thought of this write being shaped/structured into a circle as a O. This is such a wonderful write... I enjoyed it so much. Such creativity, descriptions, imagery... uniqueness. Love it.

[Lily Mae]

I love the raw truth in this..the way you feel as is.. The shape is cool but now you have the circle in my head lol.. that would be awesome to see. I love the "dirty sock intentions'...

[J. Viands]

Well done breathe easy yo

[Pratik]

This is superb James!! The thing I like most about your poems is that how you pick up instances from our daily lives and construct something so beautiful around it..... Like this act of washing laundry, a metaphor that talks about sorting our dirty, frigid and monotonous lives... You are a thinking writer - something I always appreciate! This one made me think! Going to my favorites... Superb man!