The Trapdoor Spider

A description of a lover that lures its victims in and feeds off the damage they do to them, but in this poem it is mirrored to show both parties are arachnid in the way they loved.

The trapdoor spider

its nebulae of

W   E   B  B  I  N   G

draped on the grass.

The funnel of web is like

    a horn of silk,

leading

          down

                 to a

                       LAIR.

Down under the dirt.

There the Thing probably sits

in its hole, comfortable under the

          grass and grit,

where the rus ss ss s sstttling leaves above are dulled,

where the soft footsteps of children THUD.

Down where it smells of hay

      and the bones of baby bluebirds.

There, rubbing its skinny legs together

      in anticipation,

its multifaceted humps of eyes, watching

      the line of silk

      it tethered to its floor.

              Twitch.

And it un-bundles from its curled-knuckled legs

      and docile eyes.

        Up out the hole,

   to mummify its delicate victim

   who trampolines up and down,

      cocooning itself in

           sedating silk.

I watch her car glide up the driveway, park,

The tires rock back on their haunches.

My shoulders straighten           in the chair,

where I sat tapping my stick     in the web.

I re-collect my eyes, my thoughts,

pull myself out of the chair,

   prepare a web of sedating lies.

I feel myself trampolining inside

     and struggling against a tangle

    of    numbing silk.

Author's Note

Very much a rough draft, any help would be appreciated. Tear into it.

Reviews

[JacqMarie]

It's perfect. Don't change anything. Even down to the spacing in the last line. It inspires me to write a poem from the other perspective.. one of my favorites

[G!o]

Wow. This is some amazing imagery with really good word placing. You know how to put the right word at the right place to catch the reader's attention and i adore how you stress the MAJOR points.

[J. Viands]

Your style have a name I like it? You know with your word placing and everything

[James William Dyer]

Visualism.

[Mari ana biossat]

You have such a talent for words. Your imagination makes most pale.

[Kenaz]

I like the onomonopia and the part "leading down to the lair" was one of the most clever things I've seen done in poetry. Very cool to read, and a few good metaphors thrown in as well. Nice job.

[KAOlmsted]

I don't know if I would change a thing, dude...it's really quite decent. I like the build-up of the spider, sitting back, waiting, using all its senses...and then there's you, caught in this woman's web of lies...really decent. Then again, on the second read-through, now I wonder if it is you who is spinning the web of lies for she...? Either way, excellent write. Don't tell me which, either, I like not knowing.

[Craba]

wow, left me glued all the way through, amazing imagery...