Misdeeds

Feelings of guilt, standing in the check-out line with the kids.

My shameful cans of beer

   buried

      beneath

the groceries that OVERwhelm my cart.

(The normalcy overwhelms my cart.)

Those taLL, blue cans of beer.

I had to dig deeeeeep beneath my heart

    and bring them up from all the cluttered packages.

    Defiant little soldiers

when I stood them on the check-out counter,

separated them from the groceries

                        with a scuffed-up dividing bar.

Yep. Here I am,

                        I smile my apology to the cashier,

The disaster at the end of your pageantry of customers.

Her worn-out E Y E S registered

       the bags of bread,

       the litter of vegetables,

       the fragile carton of eggs

                       where I hide my broken hearts.

      The phalanx of beer.

Why do I worry about these small judgments

       cast in a       lonely      check-out line,

while the kids play tag

'round a metal cage of $Teddy-Bear$

                       by the customer service Wall.

This is my life.

This is who I'm going to be.

The three blue soldiers of beer proceed forward

   along the conveyor belt.

The cashier accounts for them,

Waves them across the bar-code reader:

a subtle crucifix of red light at the end of the

                 CHECK OUT.

Sha-blip!         Sha-blip!          Sha-blip!

And my soul's printed off on the receipt

             like a scroll of misdeeds.

Reviews

[Horizon K.]

Nice write. That's a lot of negative emotions associated with a few cans of beer... The feelings that probably only come when you know the 3 cans are keeping you in a place you no longer want to be.

[Coyote Poetry]

Beer is not a sin. Good to relax and few have concern for the beer in the cart. I like the woman with beer in the cart. Good sign she is a fun person who enjoy the taste of beer. A interesting tale in the poem. I like the flow of thoughts and the strong ending. Thank you for sharing the excellent poem.
Coyote

[Baby Ricochet]

WOW! That's awesome! You know how to convey incredible emotion in the every day moments we all face. Outstanding sir

[Ana Soo]

I think your poem shows personal regrets. But bare in mind that everything happens for a reason and if you won't learn to forgive yourself these mistakes will haunt you to your deathbed. you have successfully created powerful situation that made this piece quite an achievement.

[victoria]

most endearing and relateable is ''these small judgements cast in a lonely check-out line'' took me ages to realise I was my worst judge....

[.]

~ ah... you remind me of my substance abuse days... it was such a big deal for me to be addicted... until... well... i'll leave that for another day...

~ i love the earnestness with which this piece has been narrated... you have a very unique way of expressing your thoughts visually... if someone held a gun to my head and asked me to recommend enhancements (in composition or presentation)... i wouldn't be able to... your work is finely chiseled... besides i would never take someone who called themselves emily dickinson jr. seriously... just sayin' ... :P

[James William Dyer]

lol. thanx.

[.]

:)

[spiritwind]

I enjoyed this... must read more of you ... I know this isn't a learned review but I am not accustomed to this style of writing... but I am so intrigued by your voice!

[Ice QueenJen]

I found this an almost insight into your daily life. Also how you felt standing there and showing shame that you were buying beer, among the other neccesary items that you need for life. I love how you wrote the last line, like you were giving up a part of you likening it to scroll of misdeeds.

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

I Really love the shape of this poem and the onemonapea was wonderful and gave it a lot of character. However the rythm could have been better and it would have looked better aesthetically if in some of the places where you did all caps you bolded or italicized instead.