Misdeeds

Feelings of guilt, standing in the check-out line with the kids.

My shameful cans of beer

   buried

      beneath

the groceries that OVERwhelm my cart.

(The normalcy overwhelms my cart.)

Those taLL, blue cans of beer.

I had to dig deeeeeep beneath my heart

    and bring them up from all the cluttered packages.

    Defiant little soldiers

when I stood them on the check-out counter,

separated them from the groceries

                        with a scuffed-up dividing bar.

Yep. Here I am,

                        I smile my apology to the cashier,

The disaster at the end of your pageantry of customers.

Her worn-out E Y E S registered

       the bags of bread,

       the litter of vegetables,

       the fragile carton of eggs

                       where I hide my broken hearts.

      The phalanx of beer.

Why do I worry about these small judgments

       cast in a       lonely      check-out line,

while the kids play tag

'round a metal cage of $Teddy-Bear$

                       by the customer service Wall.

This is my life.

This is who I'm going to be.

The three blue soldiers of beer proceed forward

   along the conveyor belt.

The cashier accounts for them,

Waves them across the bar-code reader:

a subtle crucifix of red light at the end of the

                 CHECK OUT.

Sha-blip!         Sha-blip!          Sha-blip!

And my soul's printed off on the receipt

             like a scroll of misdeeds.

Reviews

[spiritwind]

Just read this again
I am overwhelmed by your talent

[quinfinn]

yeh, but who's keeping score...right? this paints a very effective and vibrant mental picture. excellent.

[Ruth]

I felt this...the pinnacle of acceptance...
The description here is remarkable, the fact that the person is asking why they worry about the judgements...well, speaks volumes.
A powerful poem, enjoyed :)

[Becca Bishop]

Wow! This is great!!! I can't say if I'm interpretting this right or not, but I got the feeling that narrator was a bit ashamed of the fact that they were drinking. I'm so glad that this is how you decided to write it!!! I mean, I've read so many poems where alcohol is something to delight in, but this is a whole new perspective that I think a lot more people should take. They're getting the beer, yet they're embarrassed to be getting the beer. If only the embarrassment had won....then it'd be a truly happy ending :P
I love all the everyday things you put into this that make it more real: the cashier, the kids playing tag "'round a metal cage of Teddy-Bears", the beer moving solemnly forward as though going to battle, the sound of checkout....amazing!!!!

[G!o]

Beautiful and artistic...totally well written, drawing a picture of the moment. "And my soul's printed off on the receipt like a scroll of misdeeds".. i can't help it but adore your craftiness in wordings. Great writing...quench the soul....

[jacob erin-cilberto]

"a subtle crucifix of red light at the end of the Check Out"

gosh that is good stuff...

my other life hidden in my cart, the other side of me now that she has left---

and the judgement of others rings out loud like the bell sounds of the cash register as my life is rung up....

this is really good stuff...not sure the caps are necessary...we still get the effect without them...
but this is quite good..


i like how you use "three" beers...as in "three strikes, you're out"
jacob

[Ees]

Wonderful piece of work.
I often think about all of the things in my cart and what any person might think were they to peer inside... but the reality is that they don't think anything. Those cashiers, they see it all day.
And what, sir, may I ask is shameful about beer? Beer is wonderful. I love beer. I love everything about beer. And to buy so few? haha. Now I am judging you in quite a different way... haha.
But I love the poem and the solid reality of the setting, the words rendered so that an everyday occurrence becomes a beautiful piece of poetry!

[Balkaran Sidhu]

beautiful poem...just beautiful

[Lover Of Words]

Great

[KAOlmsted]

And here we are, loading up the bottom rack with an 18-pack here, a 12-pack there, maybe a few of those wine slushies that need to go in the freezer before you drink them but we never keep them around long enough for them to become fully frozen so we just add ice and pretend we meant to do that all along...all with the kid standing there saying, "Can I get a new Monster High Doll?" Never even thought twice about it. So much guilt over 3 cans of beer...but...in all fairness...your guilt is our reward, because this is a spectacular piece, JWD. Thank you so much for sharing it with us.