Flystrip

This poem is about Fentanyl, a highly addictive opiod analgesic that comes in a transdermal delivery system. Many of my friends and lovers have died from this one drug.

Come and watch

My flystrip life

The coiled helix

A seductive, toxic amber strip

Where my wings have beat and beat and beat

and ripped

Against unforgiving adhesive.

Stuck against death’s fruit roll-up,

Pale, poison-delivery system,

Displayed before the naked window,

Dangling us there like trophies where the cold light grins.

Author's Note

This poem is about Fentanyl (morphine patch) addiction.

Reviews

[Poison Ivy]

interesting!

[J. Viands]

Something to many have seen and only a few fortunate can grasp an understanding of strong piece well done

[KAOlmsted]

If you are going for a metaphor for the traps people fall into, you are spot-on; the addiction doesn't even seem that prevalent to me in this piece...Extremely well written, but I sense neither addiction nor a specific delivery system for the drug of choice. My personal opinion? Don't change a word of it; keep it and allow the reader to take what he/she will from it. After all, that is what good poetry should do, and yours, James, is better than most.

[Kenaz]

My mind immediately went to an angel in a sticky fly trap. Then I read your intro and it made complete sense. I might like it were it not so saddening. Still very good in writing.

[James William Dyer]

I should probably add something then, a single line, to make the metapor more apparent, do you think? Something that hints towards the patch? Or leave it a general comment on the traps people fall into?

[Kenaz]

I think the "toxic amber strip part" gets the point across fine

[James William Dyer]

thank you.

[James William Dyer]

So....here's my request: if someone reviews this, could you let me know if the meaning gets across, without me having to explain the Morphine Patch to them? I don't want this poem to be blatant, even if the addiction factor comes through I'd be happy. Not even addiction necessarily, just something someone might get hung up on that ruins their ambition. Like Icarus screaming and wrenching with his wings stuck on a flystrip. That's the title for a new collection of poems (LOL!): Icarus is Buried in a Light Bulb......